-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
-
We have made minor adjustments to how the search bar works on ResetEra. You can read about the changes here.
Will be bumping into my ex at a wedding - what's the move, Era?
- Thread starter BluePigGanon
- Start date
If you're like me, you realized it but were still unable to stop. I think I do this face at some point every day.
What does Sick Boy think he's going to do up on that top rope?
You've both moved on with your lives, just be friendly if you see each other. I'm sure it will go over fine!
Breaking up over EDM is a totally new one though. Wow.
Breaking up over EDM is a totally new one though. Wow.
I don't know if this has already been said, but if your ex comes by you just say "do I know you?" and pretend you have no clue who she is.
If she discovered EDM in her early to mid 30's and it's been 4 years since the break up, that puts you at the least damn near 40. So grow up. Go over and kill the big elephant in the room as soon as possible. That way you're not thinking about it the whole time and can actually enjoy yourself and not break out into a nervous sweat if you find yourself in the same Pepsi line or whatever the fuck they serve at a dry wedding. Go over, say hi, yada yada, good to see you, then move on. Trust me, you're going to feel so much better and wonder why you fussing over this for weeks.
If 3/4's of the replies here are serious, ya'll need help.
You dodged a bullet. Girls who are hung up on the EDM/festival lifestyle seem strangely abundant these days. And I've had my own share of (albeit, fairly short) relationships not go my way because of my lack of interest in it. At the end of the day if they are prioritizing going to festivals over a long term relationship with you, they're being incredibly immature. It's even worse that she's already in her thirties. And if you look deep down you probably don't want that anyway.
Don't feel bad about the bolded statement. It's 100% truth.
At the wedding just be a normal human. Say hi. Don't ignore her. Make small talk with her briefly with your current girlfriend present. And then go on the rest of your evening, enjoying your current relationship and honoring your friend who is actually getting married.
If you actually bump into her, keep it short and cordial.
You are there to pay attention to the groom/bride and your current partner.
Don't go out of your way to bump in to her.
That simple.
You are there to pay attention to the groom/bride and your current partner.
Don't go out of your way to bump in to her.
That simple.
Usually it has to do with how the relationship ended. Not every person is awkward with an ex, but if I was in a long term relationship that ended because of their love for EDM music, that would make for some awkward avoidance.
Head nod at most, crack a EDM joke when the dj hands out glow sticks to kids at the end of the night.
I've been there, but more so i wasn't into the club scene. I don't like house music enough to stay in the hamptons 4 days a week every week from Memorial Day to Labor Day listening to "hot tracks" and having lock jaw from cocaine. Fuck that noise.
I've been there, but more so i wasn't into the club scene. I don't like house music enough to stay in the hamptons 4 days a week every week from Memorial Day to Labor Day listening to "hot tracks" and having lock jaw from cocaine. Fuck that noise.
How long away is it and do you have time to sexy yourself up a bit before then? (Lose a bit of weight, gain a bit of muscle mass, etc).
Why would you try to impress your ex at an event you're attending with a girlfriend? You don't have to work that hard to be single.
This reminds me of the last wedding I was at. I skipped the ceremony but walked into the reception. I saw one of my friends/former roommate. Went up and started talking to him. He stopped halfway through telling me how drunk he was because he saw his ex and was immediately like "excuse me" and stumbled over to initiate what I'm sure was a terrible encounter. I didn't stick around for it lol
When presented with the same scenario, I gave a fake smile, said 'hi', and proceeded to ignore her the rest of the night.
Don't talk to her. Simple as that.
I will likely be in a similar situation in a year at a friend's wedding, but I am not sure if my ex and her husband will be invited or not. Regardless, my wife will be there with me, she is briefed, and knows I simply will not talk to her.
I will likely be in a similar situation in a year at a friend's wedding, but I am not sure if my ex and her husband will be invited or not. Regardless, my wife will be there with me, she is briefed, and knows I simply will not talk to her.
OP
OP
Hey everyone, thanks for the input thus far - be it good, silly, and tough love. It helps. And it's pretty much cementing my instinct about it thus far which has been be polite if I run into her but otherwise: I'm there for the bride and to have a nice time with new GF, so focus on that.
I'll let y'all know how it goes in about a week and a half, too. hahahaha
Also: I get how some people feel like maybe this is too much handwringing. For the record I've bumped into exes before and it's always been fine, and I've never really worried about it. This one is just weird because of the length of time we were together + the abruptness (and aforementioned weirdness) of the breakup + the fact we've had ZERO contact since, which was great to move on but awkward for when the bump into finally occurs.
I'll let y'all know how it goes in about a week and a half, too. hahahaha
Also: I get how some people feel like maybe this is too much handwringing. For the record I've bumped into exes before and it's always been fine, and I've never really worried about it. This one is just weird because of the length of time we were together + the abruptness (and aforementioned weirdness) of the breakup + the fact we've had ZERO contact since, which was great to move on but awkward for when the bump into finally occurs.
is your life fine? don't do anything
even if your life isn't fine, don't do anything
congrats on not making your life about EDM, solid call
if she says something to you, be nice and get away politely
or bring your switch and hide in the corner
edit oops you updated while I was typing
even if your life isn't fine, don't do anything
congrats on not making your life about EDM, solid call
if she says something to you, be nice and get away politely
or bring your switch and hide in the corner
edit oops you updated while I was typing
exactly what you said OP, I had to be around a friend that we ended very badly at a recent wedding. friends for 20 years. I just avoided him at all costs honestly, but that worked well for me.
Some astonishingly bad advice in this thread. Four years is a pretty long time, if you see her just ask her how she's been and make small talk for 2 minutes, then go enjoy the rest of the wedding. You've both moved on to new people, the past is the past. If you make a big deal out of seeing her / not seeing her, or make some stupid quip, your current gf is just going to (rightfully) think you haven't moved on.
OP
OP
I'll never have to listen to someone lay out what PLUR is again, so yeah it could be worse.
how did it take so long
it's been a long time OP, you can handle it and so can your plus one, no need for a big gesture but don't ignore her
lmao somebody broke that out just last week and I'd never heard it before, I was completely mystified
Act surprised but excited to see her, then introduce your current GF to the ex but call the ex by the wrong name, preferably something similar to her real name so it seems like an honest mistake.
Follow that up by pretending to have met the ex's BF before. Make up a name on the spot and ask the BF if he has talked to that person recently, preferably referencing a memory that never happened, laughing about it.
Follow that up by pretending to have met the ex's BF before. Make up a name on the spot and ask the BF if he has talked to that person recently, preferably referencing a memory that never happened, laughing about it.
Last edited:
I got a kick out of the EDM thing (naturally - as it was a bit frustrating for me when I was dating some of my ex's and they were getting pissy about me playing house music in the car, refused to go to shows, etc), but in my day, I've met some super hardcore trance fans that I wouldn't be surprised if they were telling the truth.
Festivals and electronic music events are super fun, when you were with your ex did you go to any with her or did you just write it off?
I love house music but anything Hamptons-related is torture for me :P
Festivals and electronic music events are super fun, when you were with your ex did you go to any with her or did you just write it off?
I love house music but anything Hamptons-related is torture for me :P
Be so into your girl you don't have time to bother giving a shit.
I wouldn't go out of my way to locate her but if we bump into each other I'd be respectful and genuinely happy they are doing well. That's about it. She's not owed any greetings or acknowledgement. Just be easy no matter what.
I wouldn't go out of my way to locate her but if we bump into each other I'd be respectful and genuinely happy they are doing well. That's about it. She's not owed any greetings or acknowledgement. Just be easy no matter what.
Update!
OP
OP
Just because I promised an post mortem once it was over:
No drama, and only a few awkward moments - overall what I was expecting and probably the best possible outcome. The wedding and venue were huge enough that it was easy to spread out and avoid each other without being obvious about it. Because we never really had to be in the same space for anything, no greetings or acknowledgements were necessary and that was fine by me (and presumably her too). A mutual friend did offer to usher her over to "rip the band aid off" but I nixed it - there was no reason. If it was a tiny wedding or we were at the same table or something, sure of course... but no reason to force it.
I'll just leave one last thought on it: SOMETIMES, when you're lucky, you get to observe an ex doing their thing with their new significant other over the course of an evening and enough time has passed where you can honestly think to yourself "God, I forgot how totally over her bullshit I was."
Thanks everyone who gave me a pep talk or at least a chuckle. For sure it was way more painful chewing on it and anticipating than actually being there in that situation.
No drama, and only a few awkward moments - overall what I was expecting and probably the best possible outcome. The wedding and venue were huge enough that it was easy to spread out and avoid each other without being obvious about it. Because we never really had to be in the same space for anything, no greetings or acknowledgements were necessary and that was fine by me (and presumably her too). A mutual friend did offer to usher her over to "rip the band aid off" but I nixed it - there was no reason. If it was a tiny wedding or we were at the same table or something, sure of course... but no reason to force it.
I'll just leave one last thought on it: SOMETIMES, when you're lucky, you get to observe an ex doing their thing with their new significant other over the course of an evening and enough time has passed where you can honestly think to yourself "God, I forgot how totally over her bullshit I was."
Thanks everyone who gave me a pep talk or at least a chuckle. For sure it was way more painful chewing on it and anticipating than actually being there in that situation.