"It's like you didn't even know what you were doing!"
"I mean, why would I come over to your place, so we meet each other to just look at one another without doing anything? I just don't see why you'd want us to meet, I see no reason." (This was her bailing a date that SHE angrily insisted for us to have a week prior. The more I said "It's ok, you don't have to come", the harsher her words got.)
My ex-girlfriend said so many traumatic shit after our breakup that I've spent almost a year single. She absolutely destroyed me and any sense of self-worth and self-esteem I had (and I had a lot - it's what attracted her in the first place.)
Worst part is I didn't want to keep in touch with her after the breakup, because I was fine and ready to move on. But she wouldn't leave me alone, kept pestering me and trying to gain me back only to ultimately bring me down once I was of no use to her. Jealousy, neediness, harsh words online, dismissal. She would get angry and insecure if she knew I was seeing someone else, even though we weren't together anymore for months already. She would act entitled and try to blame me for simply wanting to move on with my life. It pretty much devastated my whole year, and while I'm getting better, some scars still remain.
It got so unhealthy I had to straight up ask her for us to not keep in touch for a while. She screamed at me, blamed me for a ton of things, hung up on me and said wouldn't ever bother my life again. This was over four months after the relationship was done. Even though the relationship had failed, something which I accepted quite easily, she didn't want to let me go.
It's weird how the same person who once said the mellowest and most heartfelt things I've heard in my life is also the person who single-handedly brought me down without an ounce of sympathy. She devastated me and whenever I tried to talk about it, she made it seem like it was my fault and that I brought it to myself.
"I still think you're perfect", she said to me when we were having our second breakup. I knew I wasn't, and never was, but it was how she defined me. The fact someone who was once astoundingly important to me also nearly broke me in half is something that's not going to get away from me anytime soon, if ever.
Jesus Christ, this was a fucking hellish year. I'm just glad I survived all of this.
