How do I become fast soon?

[FernandoRocker]

A couple of days ago, some guys at work were talking about their athletic skills. Well, they do not look very athletic to me (in fact they have a few extra pounds), but apparently one of them runs very fast.

They have raced on the parking lot before and he always wins (never saw them race myself). This guy is close to 40.

Well, I really don't know how I asked or how it happened, but he took it as a challenge.

So, now I have to race against him (me and 2 other guys). We set the date for May 31 (a Friday).

I haven't excersided in years. I think the last time I ran was when I was in high school (I'm 35 now). I mean, I don't even have sneakers.

 

[TheKid]

Damn bro go run right now and see where you stand. Do a mile or something

 

[Ubik]

Yeah, you are gonna have to fake an injury to get out of it or you are probably gonna get one for real.

 

[Shokunin]

Lol you're gonna lose a race to a fat guy.

 

[Fat4all]

release the hounds

 

[808s & Villainy]

I haven't excersided in years. I think the last time I ran was when I was in high school (I'm 35 now). I mean, I don't even have sneakers.

Click to shrink...

Lol, good luck

 

[FernandoRocker]

Is a month enough to train?

 

[Border]

When the race starts, just trot at a leisurely jog, as if to say "I don't give a fuck. Why do you? You're a grown man challenging people to foot races."

 

[M. Wallace]

Leave the cargo shorts at home

 

[Deleted member 42]

Challenge him to a race
Consistently attempt to back out
Start your race a second or two before the race officially starts
Trip him
Win

 

[Deleted member 32374]

Either you have it or you don't. You would have known if you had "it" before 35, sorry. The 40 year old who could lose 20 pounds was born to be fast......

 

[Atlantis]

Read Sonic fanfiction.

 

[louiedog]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/i-need-a-drive-fast-playlist.111934/

 

[Olaf]

*Scorsese training montage*

 

[TaterTots]

 

[Deleted member 17092]

Your threads are interesting to the point I don't buy them. Just Sprint as fast as you can and pull a hammy.

 

[FernandoRocker]

Your threads are interesting to the point I don't buy them. Just Sprint as fast as you can and pull a hammy.

Click to shrink...

My coworkers are going to take videos of the event, I'm sure of that.

I will post the vídeo here in this thread on that date.

 

[Doggg]

Is a month enough to train?

Click to shrink...

If you haven't exercised in years, no. You might think that you can just train really hard, but you'll probably just injure yourself.

 

[xxracerxx]

Is this just a sprint or a distance race?

 

[I Don't Like]

Provide your measurements - height and weight.

 

[Deleted member 20284]

What sorta distance you talking? 100m sprint or cross country marathon? Either way you're going to have to start pounding the pavement, just practice the actual race type/distance many times before the actual event.

 

[Kaako]

I will laugh my ass off if one of you trips during the race. Don't forget to pace your breathing & get some sneakers.

 

[FernandoRocker]

Your threads are interesting to the point I don't buy them. Just Sprint as fast as you can and pull a hammy.

Click to shrink...

Is this just a sprint or a distance race?

Click to shrink...

Sprint. Like 50 meters (165 ft).

 

[EvilChameleon]

What happens if you don't race against him?

 

[Terminus]

Lmao

This is a bit from The Office, surely

 

[Fat4all]

whats this weird work environment where people are challenging other workers to footraces

 

[xxracerxx]

Sprint. Like 50 meters (165 ft).

Click to shrink...

Ok.

But really, who gives a shit? Why even race if you don't want to?

 

[cwmartin]

raced in the parking lot? These are adults?

 

[Lunchbox-]

follow what other low skill athletes do, like Peyton Manning

do HGH

 

[FernandoRocker]

whats this weird work environment where people are challenging other workers to footraces

Click to shrink...

Just a regular white collar job (engineering) in a manufacturing plant.

 

[Resilient]

YOU CAN SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVE YOUR SPEED WITHIN 1 MONTH AND 10 DAYS
YOU WILL NEED TO WORK HARD but it is totally doable for the average joe.

if you don't train that guy is gonna wreck you lol.

up to you, i expect this post to get lost in a sea of memes within the next hour tho. quote if you want advice.

 

[xxracerxx]

You couldn't even open a jar, you aren't going to "get fast."

 

[FernandoRocker]

Provide your measurements - height and weight.

Click to shrink...

I'm 165 pounds (but with belly/love handles) and 5"11.

 

[Bliman]

Bind his shoelaces together. Or throw sand in his face when you start.

 

[Fat4all]

Just a regular white collar job (engineering).

Click to shrink...

tell them to engineer someone that gives a fuck about who can run the fastest

 

[vatstep]

Lmao

This is a bit from The Office, surely

Click to shrink...

 

[Plywood]

It will take you three years.

 

[FernandoRocker]

I

YOU CAN SIGNIFICANTLY IMPROVE YOUR SPEED WITHIN 1 MONTH AND 10 DAYS
YOU WILL NEED TO WORK HARD but it is totally doable for the average joe.

if you don't train that guy is gonna wreck you lol.

up to you, i expect this post to get lost in a sea of memes within the next hour tho. quote if you want advice.

Click to shrink...

I do want advice. I will purchase some sneakers tomorrow (what kind?). I also have a treadmill that hasn't been turned on in 5 years (when I purchased it).

 

[Hokey]

Jump the gun just like Seinfeld

 

[astro]

Just go for a run every night for ike 30 minutes. After a few nights work on short distance sprints. Do this until the day. You will probably win.

You couldn't even open a jar, you aren't going to "get fast."

Click to shrink...

lol

 

[Officer Big Mac]

You put more points into Endurance.

 

[FernandoRocker]

tell them to engineer someone that gives a fuck about who can run the fastest

Click to shrink...

But you are a dog... You wouldn't understand my frustration. You are naturally fast.

 

[chefbags]

 

[Flaurehn]

Use all kind of susbtances

 

[Fat4all]

You put more points into Endurance.

Click to shrink...

i used up all my skill points on luck and woodworking

 

[5taquitos]

Click to shrink...

Yep, you just need a solid distraction.

 

[Dennis8K]

Gotta go fast.

That is the key.

 

[Officer Big Mac]

i used up all my skill points on luck and woodworking

Click to shrink...

What a noob.

 

[Deleted member 225]

Jump into a bucket of nuclear waste. It might give you superhuman speed. Or radiation poisoning. One of the two.

 

[A More Normal Bird]

Do a test run to see what your biggest limiting factor is. If you can run the length of the race without significantly slowing down then technique + power should be your focus, if not then endurance. Hill sprints and jump squats are effective for improving power output and don't require equipment etc...

You should probably look up good sprinting technique and work on that regardless.

You should also consult a doctor and generally look at your your lifestyle/fitness before trying to bootcamp your way into winning a race against co-workers at the potential cost of your longer-term health.