yeah I bet you would.And on amenable: man if some of my childhood friend's parents hit me up right now trying to hook up, I would be about it.
yeah I bet you would.And on amenable: man if some of my childhood friend's parents hit me up right now trying to hook up, I would be about it.
There is nothing in the dad's account that indicates the house is a generational home. It was "just" a gift from the in-laws to the late wife and the dad.
*You* don't see a problem with it. Again, I was replying to your point about what the deceased first wife would hypothetically think about her husband going on to marry their daughter's schoolfriend vs any other woman. I guarantee you that 'I hope you find love again if I should pass away' doesn't usually include 'amongst our kid's former classmates'.
💯
"Has little to no interaction"? According to the dad, Madison "fell in love with the house" since middle school. So, clearly, she has been at the house a lot...
I don't get the assumption of grooming. People encounter people years later who they last met when the other was a kid all the time. And on amenable: man if some of my childhood friend's parents hit me up right now trying to hook up, I would be about it. And moreso b/c I was sweet on them when I was young- I have fond conceptions of them so I'm more interested than if they were an unknown person of that age. Only now I
am a "consenting adult".
The dad could have been a traveling salesman that was on the road 11 months out of the year for all I know?a) He says his new wife "has loved the house since she was in middle school", so "barely saw her" seems unlikely, no?
b) Just so you're aware, this is literally Woody Allen's defense for marrying his step daughter. "I barely saw her" etc.
"hostage"
no parent is entitled to grandchildren. any relationship is at the parents' discretion. the circumstances show plenty of reason to withhold that.
I don't get the assumption of grooming. People encounter people years later who they last met when the other was a kid all the time. And on amenable: man if some of my childhood friend's parents hit me up right now trying to hook up, I would be about it. And moreso b/c I was sweet on them when I was young- I have fond conceptions of them so I'm more interested than if they were an unknown person of that age. Only now I am a "consenting adult".
I was responding to your post here- my point is there's a huge difference between 'some other random woman' and 'schoolfriend of our daughter'.You said the deceased wife wouldn't want her husband to marry their child's friend twice but didn't say why
But she would be fine with him giving the house to some other random woman instead of their daughter?
The dad could have been a traveling salesman that was on the road 11 months out of the year for all I know?
I suppose but I still feel like placing the advice column's reaction as on par with the situation itself is super off. Maybe it shouldn't have been published at all but the advice itself is pretty tame, you know?They don't have to publish letters that normalize creepy ass behavior
You call me "gross", then admit that my conclusions are based on something that's likely. Okay dude. 🙄 Hopefully you also have this level of vitriol aimed at those in the thread who are shrugging off fucking/marrying your daughter's childhood friend as "amenable".
I suppose but I still feel like placing the advice column's reaction as on par with the situation itself is super off. Maybe it shouldn't have been published at all but the advice itself is pretty tame, you know?
What is that supposed to mean? It seems you're implying something hostile
I was responding to your post here- my point is there's a huge difference between 'some other random woman' and 'schoolfriend of our daughter'.
a) He says his new wife "has loved the house since she was in middle school", so "barely saw her" seems unlikely, no?
it's ok; Isabella will keep the grandkid away from Madison and his grandpa
Madison keeps the whole house; 20 years later, the dad dies, and now the grandkid meets and marries Madison, bringing the house back to his mother and reuniting the two women
The advice being tame is part of the problem
He shouldn't be encouraged to stay marry his daughter's childhood friend, he shouldn't be encouraged to find a solution so that said friend can also keep the house
If you can't publish the necessary advice don't do this.
it's ok; Isabella will keep the grandkid away from Madison and his grandpa
Madison keeps the whole house; 20 years later, the dad dies, and now the grandkid meets and marries Madison, bringing the house back to his mother and reuniting the two women
Which goes back to don't publishIf only he had written to the judgmental whinging and righteous indignation column, instead of the financial advice column.
Sadly, you will be forever disappoint...
You defended the act of older dudes fucking their daughter's friends when they knew them as children, and creepily described their relationship as "amenable" to that effect. Super gross. So it is not at all surprising to hear you say that you would fuck your friends' mothers. Also super gross.What is that supposed to mean? It seems you're implying something hostile
"hostage"
no parent is entitled to grandchildren. any relationship is at the parents' discretion. the circumstances show plenty of reason to withhold that.
Let's just be thankful the dad doesn't own a pizza joint.This post and others like it are gross. You don't know the details of the story and jump to conclusions that are likely, but not in any way fact, and then proceed to judge those involved and fellow posters on some imagined moral high horse. No one is excusing anything we are discussing what is known. The situation is weird and if he's a pedophile then he should go straight to jail. Children still aren't entitled to their parents' property in my opinion.
Do I really need to spell out the difference between "I'd be OK with you finding love again with someone else if I die' and "I would not be ok with you marrying that schoolfriend of our daughter that used to come over all the time"? Because as hypotheticals go, the former is sweet and wanting your grieving spouse to be happy, and the latter is a perfectly rational objection to creepy behaviour.You've said there's a difference but not what it is so I'm losing the thread here
I'm not gonna comment on potential bans, but just so you know, someone earlier defended the idea of fucking their children's friends as being "amenable" due their youth, and used scare quotes to apparently ridicule the idea of age of consent. You do you, but I find this, at the very least, creepy and gross. 🤷♀️Anyone who supports pedophilia is more than gross and deserves a ban from this site at minimum. No one has done that here.
a) Good thing I'm not doing that, and I'm judging people who agree with the hypothetical scenario as being likely but defend it anywayIt is gross to insinuate things and judge fellow posters who don't agree with the possible and maybe probable story you have concocted. It is a virtue to not jump to conclusions and make moral judgements based on incomplete information.
B-but maybe he was travelling 11 months out of 12!In his "letter" he straight up claims having seen her as a "gawky teenager" so she must've left some sort of impression on his mind.
Is this a pizzagate reference? Are you fucking for real right now?
To be fair it could be the difference between just seeing the grandkids at Christmas vs never for all we knowFor sure, plenty of reasons to withhold access to grandkids, unless you're gifted a house, then those reasons aren't as bad anymore… I'm outraged at you fucking my friend, I'm so disgusted with your behavior I don't want you to be around my children ! But Your behavior is less disgusting if you give me your house, then you're cool enough to be with my kids.
I think there's reasonable criticism of the father: this is odd, messy, and a fucked up thing to do to your daughter.
Reasonable criticism of the bridesmaid: it's a shitty thing to fuck your close friends dad and then have a relationship with him. Not a nice thing to do as a friend.
Reasonable criticism of the daughter: it's bonkers to be outraged at your dads behavior, but then put a price tag on your outrage. I'm so mad at you and that's disgusting and I'm not letting you see your grandkids! But….. if you give me your house then its not that disgusting anymore.
Advice columnist: I actually think it's pretty good advice generally. Can't change the past, can't force your daughter to change her demands, so you can only control what you can control, get a will and figure it out with a lawyer. These columns are always nuts and the columnists have a pattern of trying to focus only on what the person who wrote in can control. They also usually don't doubt the story of the writer because that's the whole point of advice columns.
Anything else is all speculation and nobody has the evidence of it. There's no evidence that the father raped or groomed the bridesmaid , zero,, so people saying he's weird and shitty but not calling him a rapist aren't enabling rape. Also I think I'd the father was grooming the friend and raping her then the daughters reaction would be way different, like I can't imagine she'd be upset with her friend if her dad was grooming her, she'd be a victim, which would then make the daughters reaction even more bizarrely transactional than it is.
Then I go back to holding the advice giver accountableIt's the whole reason for advice columns in tabloids. They don't publish the neat and boring ones because they're neat and boring. It's like how the boring, nice, responsible Real Housewives only last 1 season while the batshit ones are on for 10.
To be fair it could be the difference between just seeing the grandkids at Christmas vs never for all we know
Yeah I think the transactional nature doesn't change much for me. Still fucking crazy from the dads decisions to me, but I love how the daughter is outraged enough to withhold her children, unless she gets a cool house.
You defended the act of older dudes fucking their daughter's friends when they knew them as children, and creepily described their relationship as "amenable" to that effect. Super gross. So it is not at all surprising to hear you say that you would fuck your friends' mothers. Also super gross.
To be very clear when people talk about rape culture, this thread is part of that too. Child grooming and pedophilia are part of this. Every single person posting in this thread who is so willing to ignore the creepy fucking grooming situation is contributing to rape culture.
Then I go back to it shouldn't be publishedI don't think the advice is that bad, the writer us giving advice to the father based on what he's asked, it's the point of advice columns. Like if you go to a lawyer and you pay the lawyer to get you out of some messy legal situation, the lawyer might be very opinionated over your life choices, but you've hired them to clean up your current mess, not to give you a time machine to change your past decisions.
The advice giver can't change the feelings of other people in the saga, only advise the father on the best solution to get what he wants, which is to lawyer up and also recognize the hurt feelings, but..l lawyer up. Pretty good advice imo.
Ask your friends how they'd react if you had sex with their fathers.
Again, yesDo I really need to spell out the difference between "I'd be OK with you finding love again with someone else if I die' and "I would not be ok with you marrying that schoolfriend of our daughter that used to come over all the time"? Because as hypotheticals go, the former is sweet and wanting your grieving spouse to be happy, and the latter is a perfectly rational objection to creepy behaviour.
I… I've literally reworded the same point four times now. Sorry.
Fucking your friend's parents?