How are so many fucking people here anti capitalist but can't figure out that an action can be legal but unethical?
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Man Marries Daughter's Bridesmaid and Childhood Friend, Daughter Demands House, This Leads to the Worst Advice Column I've Ever Read
- Thread starter excelsiorlef
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If we give legitimacy to generational inheritance I think we should value spousal inheritance above parent-child. You have a choice in who you marry, who your parents are is random. It's his house. And if the mother *really* wanted to give her house to her daughter instead of her husband, she would have written a will to that effect. Maybe she just never got around to it, or died unexpectedly? But without further info I'll assume she intended to give the house to her husband, who as someone else mentioned, half-owned it anyway.... I don't know what your point is with the second part of your post
You weren't asking me, but if this couple does have kids, then those kids (who are completely hypothetical anyway) are not morally entitled to that specific house. That house was passed down from the mother's line. It's not the daughter's responsibility to provide for them.
He's lucky he even has a chance to see his grandson at all. Fuck him.
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I'm not because there are currently no other children anyway
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I really doubt she'd be like yeah hun leave the house to our child's friend you married despite knowing her since she was 10, instead of our daughter
The daughter comes off like an asshole.
Holding the grandkids hostage just so that she can relive some nostalgia through this childhood home.
Dude is better off standing his ground and passing it off to his current wife and future kids.
I'm honestly hoping this was a fake troll story or something.
Holding the grandkids hostage just so that she can relive some nostalgia through this childhood home.
Dude is better off standing his ground and passing it off to his current wife and future kids.
I'm honestly hoping this was a fake troll story or something.
When does she expect to live in the house though? He's 50 now. Let's say he lives till 90 and stays in the house. Say the daughter is 25; she would be 65 before she could live in it if she waits until she inherits it from his death. If she's 30, she'd be 70.
Guy is a creepy, I wouldn't let any child near him with house or without house
If it's any consolation to the daughter I'm sure the dad will piss away the house before he dies so that none of them get it, he doesn't seem to have good decision making
Definitely. I've had to side-eye a lot of posts in here. So many hiding behind "well it's legal" defense..... (purely for the marriage aspect)
As if the USA isn't trending in a direction that could potentially make even worse stuff legal very soon.
The age is irrelevant here.
That's not the reason she's withholding the grandkids from him. It's because of the house.
It wouldn't have made a difference if his new spouse was 25 or 45.
The problem isn't the age, it's the fact he knows his wife since she was a kid playing at his house
We can't say the daughter would react the same if the situation was completely different
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Yeah she probably doesn't even call her childhood friend mom!
How well does one usually know their kids' friends? I understand Musk marrying his stepdaughter who he literally raised being weird, but if a parent knows of a friend but just knows their name and has little to no interaction with them and 20 years later happen to meet again and hook up, is that weird?
Again, this doesn't matter to the daughter.
She is withholding relationships with the grandkids over the house, not the new spouse.
Why does that matter? 65 is young these days. If she also lived to 90 you're talking about her arguing the case for where she wants to spend her retirement, for a quarter of a century, in her childhood home that she adores. Just because she wouldn't benefit immediately doesn't mean it isn't worth considering now.
Again this is a complicated situation and you've only got the side of the story from the disturbing guy who lusts after middle school girls.
No one has a right to inheritance. The father is doing some fucked up things here but no one is entitled to anything.
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"Has little to no interaction"? According to the dad, Madison "fell in love with the house" since middle school. So, clearly, she has been at the house a lot...
But she would be fine with him giving the house to some other random woman instead of their daughter?
I have no reason to assume otherwise unless his daughter decides to chime in via a follow-up story.
From what's presented in the OP, she comes off as an entitled brat.
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There are two issues, marrying the daughters friend and the estate.
Assuming the intent for the estate gift was always to "keep it in the family", the father is morally wrong on both.
Legally, I'd imagine he is doing nothing wrong, and honestly he probably has some sort of "grandparents rights" case maybe.
I would like to hear the daughters side tho. If she is only keeping the kids away/using them as a negotiating tactic to get their house, that's super shitty. But with only the fathers side for all we know he's always been an awful father. I don't really want my son around my mom because I don't trust her, but if someone only got her side I would probably come off like an ass.
Assuming the intent for the estate gift was always to "keep it in the family", the father is morally wrong on both.
Legally, I'd imagine he is doing nothing wrong, and honestly he probably has some sort of "grandparents rights" case maybe.
I would like to hear the daughters side tho. If she is only keeping the kids away/using them as a negotiating tactic to get their house, that's super shitty. But with only the fathers side for all we know he's always been an awful father. I don't really want my son around my mom because I don't trust her, but if someone only got her side I would probably come off like an ass.
That's true. If the guy doesn't have kids, I'm all for the house going to the daughter. Kids or not I don't think the new wife is morally entitled to the house either way. But the fact is that the house was gifted to both the father and the mother. Moreover, the house is worth a lot of money. The kind of money that can significantly make a life easier. The daughter is already well-off. She can claim that she wants the house for sentimental value all she wants, but the fact is the house has value, and she would get that value. This cannot be ignored. I think the best moral outcome is for all the kids to get a piece of the pie.
There's likely no Vied for Victorian nor daughter nor house but that hasn't stopped you from making the thread and making 30+ posts in it.
Sure the new spouse being her childhood friend has nothing to do with it...
To be very clear when people talk about rape culture, this thread is part of that too. Child grooming and pedophilia are part of this. Every single person posting in this thread who is so willing to ignore the creepy fucking grooming situation is contributing to rape culture.
I'm not saying it's not worth considering the long term stakes of things; I'm just wondering if that's a feasible outcome that one should really set their heart on, especially when you're about to raise your own family and you'll be generating all sorts of memories in the house that you'll be living in while that happens during whatever this 30 or 40 year period that could be before you gain access to the other house. Does the house that you raised a family in and lived longer in have less meaning than the one you grew up in? I would think one's perspective would change. That said, she absolutely should be looking out for herself and her family for the long term and that includes a stake in a house valued at $2 million.
Is the wife a young adult? If not and it's been a while since the wife and husband were in contact then this doesn't seem like a grooming situation
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Honestly the one real take-away for everyone here should be that it is never too soon to get a will in order.
People giving the benefit of the doubt to this creepy dad is something alright
That this midlife crisis idiot has to think about how to do right by his daughter (and his late wife tbh) cause he's got young ass now is laughable
That this midlife crisis idiot has to think about how to do right by his daughter (and his late wife tbh) cause he's got young ass now is laughable
The issue youre having is you're ignoring all the fictional stories from people who have no clue whatsoever about the history of these three people. You should really consider their embellishments and judge accordingly.
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If the creep and judas have children I'd be fine with them being entitled to a reasonable buyout of the house but specifically only a buyout, not a stake in the house just financial payment
The thing is, she'd still have that problem even if the woman wasn't her childhood friend. Does she do the same if it was someone else?
Don't get me wrong, if there's a follow-up to the story where she debunks his side and claims the age gap is the reason why she's willing to cut him off, then the dude deserves to get roasted.
According to the info in the OP though, that's not the reason provided, and there's no point in indulging in hypotheticals.
We have no idea, but I assume that at least she would feel less hurt
Come on, there's a huge difference between reasonable wishes a deceased spouse might have had like 'I hope you find love again after I'm gone' and 'please don't marry our kids schoolfriends'.
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I have never been more disturbed sharing space with randos on the internet than participating in this thread.
And this forum has had a couple of doozies.
Probably not, speaking as someone whose dad has a house that will likely go to his girlfriend rather than to me and my brothers. I'm not at all upset at this, because a) my dad's girlfriend was his own age and already had her own family (and grandkids), and b) my dad bought the house himself back in the day. If my dad had inherited the house from my deceased mom's parents and had then married my middle school classmate and the house would go to this classmate and her kids, I'd be disgusted and probably livid, yes. This surely cannot be that hard to grasp?
Or is it that the men of ResetEra empathize with old dudes fucking young brides more than they do with daughters... 🤔
User Banned (Permanent): Dismissive commentary regarding grooming over multiple posts, prior severe infraction for dismissing concerns of sexualized images of minors
I don't think so- if they found love together then that's love. If he groomed her then that's fucked up and might change things, but I think it's more likely they just met each other later in life. Maybe they were more amenable due to having previously met when she was his daughter's childhood friend, but I don't think that in itself is an issue
There is nothing in the dad's account that indicates the house is a generational home. It was "just" a gift from the in-laws to the late wife and the dad.
Fair points. I agree with you that her perspective on where her true family home is may change over the next 30+ years, but expressing fears about being frozen out of her inheritance by her school friend marrying her dad is perfectly rational too, as is her feelings about the house in question in the moment.
So his 20 year plan all along was to groom the friend and then strike at his daughters wedding, where the woman may or not actually happen to be at?
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