-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
-
We have made minor adjustments to how the search bar works on ResetEra. You can read about the changes here.
Man Marries Daughter's Bridesmaid and Childhood Friend, Daughter Demands House, This Leads to the Worst Advice Column I've Ever Read
- Thread starter excelsiorlef
- Start date
- Status
If that's the case maybe they can gift her one too. /shrug.
You said the deceased wife wouldn't want her husband to marry their child's friend twice but didn't say why
With the house, not him. idk, my brother brought people to our house tons, and I don't even know their names and barely what they look like. Couldn't see myself interacting with kids much besides to say "hello."
OP
OP
You also gonna look your close friend in the eyes and say I'm your daddy now?
The dad could have been a traveling salesman that was on the road 11 months out of the year for all I know?
The circumstances being that she's blackmailing her father over property rights because she feel entitled to a cut of the house.
I was responding to your post here- my point is there's a huge difference between 'some other random woman' and 'schoolfriend of our daughter'.
lol any due in their 50's marrying someone in their 20s should get side-eye
maybe don't fuck your daughter's childhood friend at her wedding who visited your house often enough as a child to fall in love with it (lmao that's a line)
maybe don't fuck your daughter's childhood friend at her wedding who visited your house often enough as a child to fall in love with it (lmao that's a line)
OP
OP
I suppose but I still feel like placing the advice column's reaction as on par with the situation itself is super off. Maybe it shouldn't have been published at all but the advice itself is pretty tame, you know?
Anyone who supports pedophilia is more than gross and deserves a ban from this site at minimum. No one has done that here.
It is gross to insinuate things and judge fellow posters who don't agree with the possible and maybe probable story you have concocted. It is a virtue to not jump to conclusions and make moral judgements based on incomplete information.
What is that supposed to mean? It seems you're implying something hostile
OP
OP
The advice being tame is part of the problem
He shouldn't be encouraged to stay marry his daughter's childhood friend, he shouldn't be encouraged to find a solution so that said friend can also keep the house
If you can't publish the necessary advice don't do this.
I think there's reasonable criticism of the father: this is odd, messy, and a fucked up thing to do to your daughter.
Reasonable criticism of the bridesmaid: it's a shitty thing to fuck your close friends dad and then have a relationship with him. Not a nice thing to do as a friend.
Reasonable criticism of the daughter: it's bonkers to be outraged at your dads behavior, but then put a price tag on your outrage. I'm so mad at you and that's disgusting and I'm not letting you see your grandkids! But….. if you give me your house then its not that disgusting anymore.
Advice columnist: I actually think it's pretty good advice generally. Can't change the past, can't force your daughter to change her demands, so you can only control what you can control, get a will and figure it out with a lawyer. These columns are always nuts and the columnists have a pattern of trying to focus only on what the person who wrote in can control. They also usually don't doubt the story of the writer because that's the whole point of advice columns.
Anything else is all speculation and nobody has the evidence of it. There's no evidence that the father raped or groomed the bridesmaid , zero,, so people saying he's weird and shitty but not calling him a rapist aren't enabling rape. Also I think I'd the father was grooming the friend and raping her then the daughters reaction would be way different, like I can't imagine she'd be upset with her friend if her dad was grooming her, she'd be a victim, which would then make the daughters reaction even more bizarrely transactional than it is.
Reasonable criticism of the bridesmaid: it's a shitty thing to fuck your close friends dad and then have a relationship with him. Not a nice thing to do as a friend.
Reasonable criticism of the daughter: it's bonkers to be outraged at your dads behavior, but then put a price tag on your outrage. I'm so mad at you and that's disgusting and I'm not letting you see your grandkids! But….. if you give me your house then its not that disgusting anymore.
Advice columnist: I actually think it's pretty good advice generally. Can't change the past, can't force your daughter to change her demands, so you can only control what you can control, get a will and figure it out with a lawyer. These columns are always nuts and the columnists have a pattern of trying to focus only on what the person who wrote in can control. They also usually don't doubt the story of the writer because that's the whole point of advice columns.
Anything else is all speculation and nobody has the evidence of it. There's no evidence that the father raped or groomed the bridesmaid , zero,, so people saying he's weird and shitty but not calling him a rapist aren't enabling rape. Also I think I'd the father was grooming the friend and raping her then the daughters reaction would be way different, like I can't imagine she'd be upset with her friend if her dad was grooming her, she'd be a victim, which would then make the daughters reaction even more bizarrely transactional than it is.
There is a trend on this site, and probably the whole internet, to jump to conclusions and then morally bash people who don't agree with your assumptions. ERA can and should be better than this.
You've said there's a difference but not what it is so I'm losing the thread here
"We only have his side of the story and he didn't admit to grooming her."
Like lmao of course this fictional (probably) man will just straight up admit that.
In his "letter" he straight up claims having seen her as a "gawky teenager" so she must've left some sort of impression on his mind.
Like lmao of course this fictional (probably) man will just straight up admit that.
In his "letter" he straight up claims having seen her as a "gawky teenager" so she must've left some sort of impression on his mind.
This thread is divisive but surely we can all agree that this is gold
If only he had written to the judgmental whinging and righteous indignation column, instead of the financial advice column.
Sadly, you will be forever disappoint...
OP
OP
You defended the act of older dudes fucking their daughter's friends when they knew them as children, and creepily described their relationship as "amenable" to that effect. Super gross. So it is not at all surprising to hear you say that you would fuck your friends' mothers. Also super gross.
For sure, plenty of reasons to withhold access to grandkids, unless you're gifted a house, then those reasons aren't as bad anymore… I'm outraged at you fucking my friend, I'm so disgusted with your behavior I don't want you to be around my children ! But Your behavior is less disgusting if you give me your house, then you're cool enough to be with my kids.
Do I really need to spell out the difference between "I'd be OK with you finding love again with someone else if I die' and "I would not be ok with you marrying that schoolfriend of our daughter that used to come over all the time"? Because as hypotheticals go, the former is sweet and wanting your grieving spouse to be happy, and the latter is a perfectly rational objection to creepy behaviour.
I'm not gonna comment on potential bans, but just so you know, someone earlier defended the idea of fucking their children's friends as being "amenable" due their youth, and used scare quotes to apparently ridicule the idea of age of consent. You do you, but I find this, at the very least, creepy and gross. 🤷♀️
a) Good thing I'm not doing that, and I'm judging people who agree with the hypothetical scenario as being likely but defend it anyway
b) Literally everyone in this thread has "incomplete information", yet you only finger-wag "one side" of opinions. I wonder why.
B-but maybe he was travelling 11 months out of 12!
Is this a pizzagate reference? Are you fucking for real right now?
OP
OP
To be fair it could be the difference between just seeing the grandkids at Christmas vs never for all we know
It's the whole reason for advice columns in tabloids. They don't publish the neat and boring ones because they're neat and boring. It's like how the boring, nice, responsible Real Housewives only last 1 season while the batshit ones are on for 10.
Yeah, a columnist's role is hard. You have to respond with good advice to the writer, while being mindful that what you say could affect the other real people in the situation who did not write in. And yeah, if her father had groomed her friend, you'd think she'd want more than "give me the house and it's cool"
OP
OP
Yeah I think the transactional nature doesn't change much for me. Still fucking crazy from the dads decisions to me, but I love how the daughter is outraged enough to withhold her children, unless she gets a cool house.
OP
OP
She could threaten to withhold the grandkid on the condition that he continues with the wedding instead if she's that outraged about their marriage.
I don't think the advice is that bad, the writer us giving advice to the father based on what he's asked, it's the point of advice columns. Like if you go to a lawyer and you pay the lawyer to get you out of some messy legal situation, the lawyer might be very opinionated over your life choices, but you've hired them to clean up your current mess, not to give you a time machine to change your past decisions.
The advice giver can't change the feelings of other people in the saga, only advise the father on the best solution to get what he wants, which is to lawyer up and also recognize the hurt feelings, but..l lawyer up. Pretty good advice imo.
OP
OP
Then I go back to it shouldn't be published
You can't defend the publishing as gotta post the clicks
And defend the advice as can't upset the creep.
Ask your friends how they'd react if you had sex with their fathers.
I dunno if bartering access to children is really any more or less ethically good or bad than your dad fucking your bridesmaid. Like… on the scale of shit things to do those are both pretty shit things to do from any sort of ethical or moral perspective.
But from the perspective of daughter wants her dads house, of course, sell your children, they're a strong asset.
I… I've literally reworded the same point four times now. Sorry.
OP
OP
- Status