yup,
they probably know the other person better/they previously went to a function
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Not invited to a party my wife was invited to? Implied invited or nah?
- Thread starter Timeaisis
- Start date
yup,
they probably know the other person better/they previously went to a function
Sounds like they're not bothered about you being there but probably wouldn't be offereded if you turned up with your partner.
OP
OP
You summed up how I'm feeling much better than I did. Especially the last part.
It happens to me constantly, and it's just frustrating at this point. It's not unfair of me to expect people to treat me and my partner as individuals, rather than a single entity. I've had people text my partner and have conversations with me *through her*. It's insane.
And on the quiet note, yeah. Also upsetting. I have a stressful, high intensity job that involves constant interaction with clients. When I'm done with a 60 hour week and going out, I'm not going to put effort into being aggressively social and fun around people who aren't willing to reciprocate. Being called "quiet" for this sucks. Y'all aren't my friends.
Show up anyways and go:
laughed out loud, thanks mang.
definitely a weird one OP, i think you're making the right call, i'm gonna play sekiro tonight too. ;)
A: Hey, I am just calling to check if ______ is also invited, is it okay if he comes along?
B: Ah, actually I was just inviting close/direct friends.
A: Okay, cool, thanks for letting me know, see ya at the party.
How do some people survive?
B: Ah, actually I was just inviting close/direct friends.
A: Okay, cool, thanks for letting me know, see ya at the party.
How do some people survive?
As someone who has hosted parties, if I invite someone I sure as hell am assuming their spouse is coming. But it wouldn't be difficult as a host to clarify either way.
Ultimately if this is a group of people you want to or well, need to be friends in your wife's eyes, you should absolutely show. If it comes to be known that you feel like a victim and slighted from not getting a specific invite, I hesitate thinking you will ever be friends with them.
Ultimately if this is a group of people you want to or well, need to be friends in your wife's eyes, you should absolutely show. If it comes to be known that you feel like a victim and slighted from not getting a specific invite, I hesitate thinking you will ever be friends with them.
What? While other spouses are invited? NAH. What spouse with any integrity would accept that invite?
These motherfuckers were hoping OP would pick up on their cryptic hint and he did.
But they aren't mutual friends, it's his wife's work colleagues. I'm guessing they want her at the party and if the SO turns up that's fine if he doesn't it's just as good.
If he is "quiet" though that's not really an exaggeration it's an observation.
I've got a colleague at work, real nice guy I get on really well with him. His wife on the other hand is really hard work, nothing in common with myself or my wife and really quiet when she does come out. Whenever we have a gathering I'll invite him but I never invite his wife, sometimes she comes sometimes she doesn't.
I wouldn't go unless I'm specifically invited. Particularly if someone elses spouse was invited.
Also, if someone thinks you're a quiet person, that's not rude. If someone says "you're too quiet" or "why are you so quiet" or something along those lines, that is rude (or ignorant at best). There's a difference.
Also, if someone thinks you're a quiet person, that's not rude. If someone says "you're too quiet" or "why are you so quiet" or something along those lines, that is rude (or ignorant at best). There's a difference.
Your not invited... Let your wife go out and have a night out and you have a free night for yourself...
Don't over think it
Don't over think it
Go buy the most expensive cheese plate at the cheapest store. Eat enough of it so its obvious from looking at it that some is missing. Walk into the party sucking on your fingers and smacking your lips exclaiming " mmmmmm that's some yummy in my tummy." Place the cheese plate centerpiece somewhere and make a big deal about how you brought it. Whenever someone tries to talk to you, clap your hands in front of their face.
Pretty sure it's implied since you're married.
Having said that, I still wouldn't go. I'd rather play the video game myself.
Having said that, I still wouldn't go. I'd rather play the video game myself.
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Depends on the type of gathering/party.
More and more couples have mixed gender circle of friends that are completely or partially different from their partner's friends.
And this is a good thing. This is progress in woman's suffrage/rights. In the not so distant past and present, women didn't really have their own circle of friends after they married. Only with other women that were in the same situation. Social gatherings with mixed company were either with your husband or not at all.
Family gatherings should always be together and implied, but everything else should be declared on who is invited. Normal parties with friends or co-worker gatherings are not important enough that you have to always bring your partner.
More and more couples have mixed gender circle of friends that are completely or partially different from their partner's friends.
And this is a good thing. This is progress in woman's suffrage/rights. In the not so distant past and present, women didn't really have their own circle of friends after they married. Only with other women that were in the same situation. Social gatherings with mixed company were either with your husband or not at all.
Family gatherings should always be together and implied, but everything else should be declared on who is invited. Normal parties with friends or co-worker gatherings are not important enough that you have to always bring your partner.
If your wife doesn't complain that you stay home gaming all the time: Stay home and enjoy.
If she often does complain that you don't? Go to the party and actually socialize.
There's nuance here. Yes, he's invited but they're hoping he actually doesn't come.
If it were me, I'd take her to the party, wait by the car, wait for her to notice if people are wandering where I am and get the OK from the wife to go to party or to go play Sekiro XD
Honestly it's your wife so I'm pretty sure nobody would mind if you went.
Honestly it's your wife so I'm pretty sure nobody would mind if you went.
I don't think so. I think they think he is quiet and doesn't want to come and leaving him off an invite takes the pressure off him as he might feel obligated to go if he were on it. I am thinking they are trying to be considerate not dicks.
I don't have much to add but it does seem weird you weren't explicitly invited. I would overthink it too honestly. I'm interested in an update about the event and if they ask where you are when your wife shows up.
The SO is implied. And inviting another's SO explicitly isn't necessarily a cryptic message that they hate your guts or anything. It's quite possible that the other SO is more outgoing and thus they are close to both halves of that couple, but that doesn't mean they don't want you there. Don't overthink it.
Just have her ask. That's what my wife does. Most of the time if I'm not invited too she doesn't even go herself.
Does your wife want you to go?
Is your wife the type to still want to go to a party where you are specifically not invited?
Is your wife the type to still want to go to a party where you are specifically not invited?
This is easily explainable. If the host knows both of the people pretty well, then they both get invited. If you know mostly one person, then that person gets invited with an implicit invite of the partner. It's weirder if you know both people pretty well who are a couple but only invite one with an implied invite to the other.
It seems like they either genuinely forgot to call you ( considering they invited other people's spouse) or don't mind, not having you there.
I wouldn't attend such an event. I am sure you have better friends worth spending time on.
I wouldn't attend such an event. I am sure you have better friends worth spending time on.
They probably didn't mention you specifically in the invite because they assumed you wouldn't want to go since apparently you always come off as being annoyed by them and disliking their company. I'm sure it's implied you could go if you wanted to.
If you want to get particularly paranoid, it could be that even though it's always implied that SO's are invited, they didn't specifically extend the invite to you because your standoffish behavior would bring the whole party down and they don't really want you to go. I'd show up anyways because fuck 'em.
If you want to get particularly paranoid, it could be that even though it's always implied that SO's are invited, they didn't specifically extend the invite to you because your standoffish behavior would bring the whole party down and they don't really want you to go. I'd show up anyways because fuck 'em.
This is the winning strategy.
In fact, I'd pay to see the OP do this.
OP
OP
This thread is surprisingly more 50/50 than I thought it would be. Glad others feel similarly to me here. Anyway, my wife just left, and I'm playing Sekiro. I will keep you all posted if I find anything out.
Oh wow. Like, do you think they'd start whispering behind your back if you went saying, "I can't believe he came too!" Well, at least they will now whisper behind your back because you decided to not go to a party with your wife and play Sekiro instead. I'm sure whatever "quiet" remarks they have about you is going to intensify. Like, how do you expect your relationship with your wife's friends to improve? Do you ever want to be name dropped by them?
Yep, if you invite someone in a couple format the other party is immediately invited.