Moderation on this website is inconsistent — that's the kindest way of putting it.
RIP Etika.
NYPD on Twitter: "We regret to inform that Desmond Amofah aka Etika has been found deceased." (See guidelines before posting)
- Thread starter JB2448
- Start date
Moderation on this website is inconsistent — that's the kindest way of putting it.
RIP Etika.
I think it's a powerful video that people should watch, especially those that criticised him or just reduce him to the things he did, and for the record, I don't know about all the drama he got involved with but it's still important to see this video and realise he's just a human like everyone else.
I'd warn people who are facing mental health struggles to not watch it though, it's very heavy to watch.
This is it. Thank you for your thoughts.
This is not it. Era can be the best. Im not interested in "other sites" because they are fully lost. This could be an oasis and a forum where "Gamers" are and become, better.
Everything I'm about to say is me speaking as my own person, not as my position as moderator, which I clarify as I realize that's actively part of the discussion here.
I have so many thoughts on this topic, I made a series of tweets on May 1st in response to the previous thread if anyone cares to read what I wrote at the time:
Etika's whole situation has been close hitting for me due to having lost my best friend of over 10 years to suicide as of last August. I've been recovering from that. On-top of this, I've spent a lot of time helping a lot of people in my daily life, and have on more than one occasion spent months to years with people who dealt with suicidal thoughts and various other things. One of my greatest interest in this world (outside of horror) is people, so on a personal level I always want to take part in these discussions and have an actual discussion with people who disregard these things so easily. It's not just this forum, the internet as a whole suffers a whole lot from an overwhelming lack of empathy, and active apathy for people. On Era it is notable that often this apathy is directed towards celebrity figures, though the lack of awareness of people who then redirect their apathy towards other people/this forum just shows what the real problem is.
Anyone can be stigmatized as a monster, and internet culture as a whole has taught people to react before research. But this lack of empathy and making boogiemen composed of the worst of everyone out of everyone else is I think one of the internet's biggest downfalls. I understand not wanting to stand for certain things, and there's no denying Etika said some pretty horrible things. But it was also alarmingly clear as it developed that Etika was suffering a mental breakdown.
There's a lot of gross aspects to this, which include some people's attitudes for it at the time, the almost cult-like chanting when he got arrested of supposed "fans" egging him on to get aggressive with a cop, to even some of the reactions now. On one hand, I'm very happy this has been getting some attention, and I hope it helps allow some people to look deeper into themselves to really grow as individuals to form at least a slightly better understanding of everything surrounding this. On the other hand, I fully suspect it's going to be business as usual and even a more widespread case like this is going to spread for all the wrong reasons.
Every time I write a post like this, I second-guess myself because I realize what I write as an individual might be taken to represent a larger group. While I do occasionally help moderate the forum, I'm a very individualistic person who tries to take all people as individuals when they're in front of me. However, there's a hypocrisy there since I realize by writing such messages some will inevitably take it as me speaking for a whole. I will send this because I've chosen too, but I think knowing you have a responsibility also makes it harder to speak frankly in the place you're more responsible for, especially when you're just one contributor and only a cog in the whole of a structure.
Ultimately, my main feelings on all of this is just sadness though. I'm not surprised what happened to Etika. I knew Etika before all of this due to a good friend of mine who knew him a bit personally who I know is hit harder by this than I am. The talk around all of this reminds me and brings me back to the mindset of me losing my best friend 10 months ago. I'm frustrated that this was so expected and nothing was or maybe even could've been done with our current mental care system to help him. I give out my biggest condolences to the people he was close to, I don't know who they are outside of my friend, who is a sweetheart and I know is devastated by this news, and having lost someone precious to him fairly recently I can imagine the struggles they're going through, but then imagine the kinda' struggle of his death also being used to talk discussion and such things when he's literally just passed away. I understand why we're having these discussions, and I hope it contributes to good, but I can't imagine this spread attention and people spreading tension and conflict over his death is helping the grieving process at all. I'm sad some people are so worn down by the current era and internet that finding genuinity and empathy online is like finding diamonds in any public rather than private form. I am sad I lack hope things will get better anytime soon.
I feel I want to say so much more, but this is already a pretty long message and ultimately I think I'd just go in circles. This whole thing has set alight a number of things within me I think I need to sit down and process.
I have so many thoughts on this topic, I made a series of tweets on May 1st in response to the previous thread if anyone cares to read what I wrote at the time:
Etika's whole situation has been close hitting for me due to having lost my best friend of over 10 years to suicide as of last August. I've been recovering from that. On-top of this, I've spent a lot of time helping a lot of people in my daily life, and have on more than one occasion spent months to years with people who dealt with suicidal thoughts and various other things. One of my greatest interest in this world (outside of horror) is people, so on a personal level I always want to take part in these discussions and have an actual discussion with people who disregard these things so easily. It's not just this forum, the internet as a whole suffers a whole lot from an overwhelming lack of empathy, and active apathy for people. On Era it is notable that often this apathy is directed towards celebrity figures, though the lack of awareness of people who then redirect their apathy towards other people/this forum just shows what the real problem is.
Anyone can be stigmatized as a monster, and internet culture as a whole has taught people to react before research. But this lack of empathy and making boogiemen composed of the worst of everyone out of everyone else is I think one of the internet's biggest downfalls. I understand not wanting to stand for certain things, and there's no denying Etika said some pretty horrible things. But it was also alarmingly clear as it developed that Etika was suffering a mental breakdown.
There's a lot of gross aspects to this, which include some people's attitudes for it at the time, the almost cult-like chanting when he got arrested of supposed "fans" egging him on to get aggressive with a cop, to even some of the reactions now. On one hand, I'm very happy this has been getting some attention, and I hope it helps allow some people to look deeper into themselves to really grow as individuals to form at least a slightly better understanding of everything surrounding this. On the other hand, I fully suspect it's going to be business as usual and even a more widespread case like this is going to spread for all the wrong reasons.
Every time I write a post like this, I second-guess myself because I realize what I write as an individual might be taken to represent a larger group. While I do occasionally help moderate the forum, I'm a very individualistic person who tries to take all people as individuals when they're in front of me. However, there's a hypocrisy there since I realize by writing such messages some will inevitably take it as me speaking for a whole. I will send this because I've chosen too, but I think knowing you have a responsibility also makes it harder to speak frankly in the place you're more responsible for, especially when you're just one contributor and only a cog in the whole of a structure.
Ultimately, my main feelings on all of this is just sadness though. I'm not surprised what happened to Etika. I knew Etika before all of this due to a good friend of mine who knew him a bit personally who I know is hit harder by this than I am. The talk around all of this reminds me and brings me back to the mindset of me losing my best friend 10 months ago. I'm frustrated that this was so expected and nothing was or maybe even could've been done with our current mental care system to help him. I give out my biggest condolences to the people he was close to, I don't know who they are outside of my friend, who is a sweetheart and I know is devastated by this news, and having lost someone precious to him fairly recently I can imagine the struggles they're going through, but then imagine the kinda' struggle of his death also being used to talk discussion and such things when he's literally just passed away. I understand why we're having these discussions, and I hope it contributes to good, but I can't imagine this spread attention and people spreading tension and conflict over his death is helping the grieving process at all. I'm sad some people are so worn down by the current era and internet that finding genuinity and empathy online is like finding diamonds in any public rather than private form. I am sad I lack hope things will get better anytime soon.
I feel I want to say so much more, but this is already a pretty long message and ultimately I think I'd just go in circles. This whole thing has set alight a number of things within me I think I need to sit down and process.
There's no real solution because there's no precedent for multiple members of a fucking gaming forum website being stalked and harassed over their opinions on fucking video games. :|
Absolutely. His last video was an acknowledgement that there is something deeply wrong with internet culture. He wanted to make things better for others.
There is a lot to learn from this. And we need to learn from this.
I agree. This is really sad and doesn't deserve being hijacked.
Resetera was founded on the belief that a gaming community could be better, and ignoring it or saying "other communities are worse" is no comfort.
Is this the right time or place to call him obnoxious?
It's honestly not even worth the energy it takes to retort Liam. As someone else noted a few pages back, he's a glass cannon when it comes to criticism. He's eager to dish it out in broad bursts, but he can't take it at all. And it certainly doesn't take a tweet from him for us in this thread to see that there are cultural issues within Era that could use improvement.
It has a problem. But it's ridiculous af to paint it on the community, the entire community, specially from people outside on other crap platforms that allow far worse shit to spread.
I just find it hard to believe that a meta debate about how mental health issues are talking about in our community would be locked like that? Which is actually what should be discussed IMO, not whether or not people should feel ashamed for misreading a situation about a person they knew nothing about which is clearly what a handful of posters in this thread seem to be here for? The latter is distasteful at best.
Jesus. This fucking thread.
Someone just died and we need to show compassion and care for one another.
Yet were in here at each other's throats.
WTF is up with this place at times?
Someone just died and we need to show compassion and care for one another.
Yet were in here at each other's throats.
WTF is up with this place at times?
My guess is that moderators want to avoid abuse. It's my understanding that for NeoGAF there was actually a lot of harassment going on behind the scenes that we eren't aware of, like people connected to dedicated harassment/doxxing sites (Kiwifarms).
Something I was thinking of a while ago was that, at the very least, you could have some kind of dedicated communication channel. There are a bunch of vulnerable groups that post on the site (people suffering from mental health issues are clearly seen as one here), as well as non-vulnerable ones (say, Nintendo fans) who still have a distinct interest in how the site is run albeit in a much lighter way. Maybe you could have trusted, non-hostile members from those communities and set them in a specialized communication role separate from the moderation staff and with no enforcement ability or access to private channels. You could have them filter and condense criticism from that group, as well as provide evaluations as to how that group's experience of the site seems to be.
Something I was thinking of a while ago was that, at the very least, you could have some kind of dedicated communication channel. There are a bunch of vulnerable groups that post on the site (people suffering from mental health issues are clearly seen as one here), as well as non-vulnerable ones (say, Nintendo fans) who still have a distinct interest in how the site is run albeit in a much lighter way. Maybe you could have trusted, non-hostile members from those communities and set them in a specialized communication role separate from the moderation staff and with no enforcement ability or access to private channels. You could have them filter and condense criticism from that group, as well as provide evaluations as to how that group's experience of the site seems to be.
Not being funny , but why are you even in here posting. Most people have said RIP, but your first comment was very defensive and you seem to care more about damage control than Etika at this point.
Shitting on the community doesn't do anything more than creates more negativity. it's not the majority but there is things that should be done.
I don't agree painting a brush on the entire community isn't a good thing.
You are right on with your posts.
I agree that it needs to be discussed but handling it with care is exactly what needs to happen. It's not an either or situation.
I should mention that those threads both before they were being linked had almost 50K views. The larger thread had 217K views. As much as there's not many members posting. The eyes on the posts are far far larger. Tho this still doesn't represent all of ERA. I'm sure tho that liam used this time to take shots.
Last edited:
This is heartbreaking. It just shows you should *never* ignore signs or threats of suicide or self harm
Hopefully this forces this website to review how they've treated this entire situation
Hopefully this forces this website to review how they've treated this entire situation
Because it doesn't happen. Because threads get closed when the conversation happens later. Metacommentary/topics about moderation generally isn't allowed.
Ok so it's clear that you didn't read my first post in this thread. Do so and then apologize to me kthx. 👍
How often do you see metacommentary from disgruntled members of a website not get hijacked?
It's a failing I will stand up and admit I was guilty of.
I was originally very concerned about Etika's wellbeing when he originally self-sabotaged his social media and YouTube channel, but then when he came back with his Etika FRFX reboot and carried on as normal, that made me uncomfortable and I started to question what his real intentions and motivations were. I decided to stop following his activities after that.
Then, after he posted all of those disgusting things online, I felt that he was becoming actively harmful to many of his online fans who had admired and cared about him, and I let that disapproval override my concern for his personal wellbeing.
Then after his stints in hospital, it seemed obvious to me that this was a man who should not have been returning to his popular online platforms as it was clearly only feeding his mental ill-health. It troubled me that he resumed streaming yet again like it was all back to 'normal' and that he had such a sizeable audience willing to give him that attention and further feed his spiralling behaviour.
I don't think I could've ever gone back to actively being a viewer of his had he continued his content creation, but my concern was about him as a human being. I'd rather he had left the internet, spent a long time getting his life together and then enjoyed a new stable life with the internet stuff firmly behind him.
Alas, that would never come to pass. I am just so bitterly disappointed but not in the least bit surprised that this happened when many of us feared it was heading this way.
But I've learnt a heavy lesson from this. I regret ever considering that his initial 'reawakening' and channel deletion had any cynical motivations behind them. I am sorry.
I think Etika stood out as quite a positive figure in the gaming community - despite his bombastic personality - as he seemed to genuinely appreciate his fans and didn't insult their intelligence. I think part of me felt he was too good to be true and must have a bad side like so many other gaming figures and all those offensive posts just felt like they proved my cynical side right. It just is such a terrible shame. The whole business. I feel bad for all of us right now.
Thank you for sharing the photo. I'm sorry for your loss.
A LOT more indeed.
Terrible news. For some reason I wasn't even surprised. But the shock is still very much there.
Incredibly articulate post that hits the core of the issue here...
We don't feel we have a voice here despite being in the community..
RIP my man. His Smash video's always gave me a good laugh. Etika's passion for Smash was real and it showed. I'm sad he couldn't get the help he needed. The help he asked for.
Perception is one thing, how some people treated Etika's struggle on here another. Just imagine him seeing that shit while he was in that state.
I'm sorry that you lost your friend. This is an insightful post, thanks for sharing.
I'd say that behavior in the community is only enforced by the high amount of bans going around. For some people winning an argument means getting the opposition banned. Discourse can only happen if it's allowed to play out
Thanks for this post. My condolences about your friend as well as Etika.
Look, there's a difference between people having genuine concerns over sensitive subjects and how they have been handled (me being one of them, to an extent) and troll accounts coming in just to gloat, point fingers and go "see, I told you this forum was pure and utter scum just like I read daily on 4chan and thebore!" It's incredibly frustrating having those people shit up a thread that could be very productive. Luckily they are getting banned so eh, not sure what I'm complaining about really.
I watch Nintendo related content and he was always someone who popped up but I was never a huge fan. Still a shame that he wasn't able to overcome his demons. I know how loud those voices can get and it's awful that he wasn't able to get the help he needed. We gotta do better as a country to make these services more accessible to anyone and shed stigma from seeking help.
Agreed. I was only made aware of this because Uzumaki Khan made a video and he was in tears.
With that said there is a time and a place, some posters can't help themselves.
If an online community truly wants to set an example for how those communities could and should be then it needs to be willing to constantly self-criticise and self-examine, otherwise it can never hope to reach and retain that goal. Patting yourself on the back about how much better you are than those other sites doesn't cut it.
Before the latest news I thought he was doing better after seeing new reaction videos from him on youtube... Pretty sad about all of this, RIP
I want to address this as someone with a history of violent suicide attempts since the age of 6 years old. This also may sound rather harsh and callous, even insensitive, so I apologize because everyone handles pain and trauma differently. I hate this kind of spam I see all over twitter every time a celebrity dies of suicide. I've always been aware of these hotlines, most who are in that headspace are aware of these hotlines, many, including myself, don't care about these at that point. I hate how this stuff is only brought up after the fact, and I hate how the discussion around suicide is so barebones as if a hotline is good enough when someone is feeling suicidal. It literally means fuck all to those who are feeling suicidal because what they want to hear, and who they want to talk to is not some random stranger over the phone, but actual friends and family for them to listen and understand their problems. Heck, even a community they frequent where known friends and acquaintances may be. Someone to connect to personally. Hospitals and hotlines can feel cold and impersonal. Often times when people immediately direct a person to a hotline there can be feeling in that person's head of being brushed off confirming the lies your own deep dark depression is telling you that they never actually cared or else they would have listened or understood.
Not to say these hotlines don't work when in the right headspace, I just hate how it's so frequently used as a blanket as if it's a one size fits all to most situations. People need to learn to communicate and ease people down, be friendly, listen, before immediately jumping to hotlines. This headspace is incredibly delicate and painful, and seeking help is an incredibly hard thing to do even in the right headspace. And seeking help is also not as easy as people make it out to be too. Therapists are expensive, there are different types, you may not find the right therapist at first or second or even tenth time who has the patience for you. There also can be a distance issue which can put a hold on a lot of things too.
Just an example from me. I've been in and out of therapy since I could make basic sentences. I was finally getting better around my mid-teens and then I lapsed in my adult years and fell back into problems because apparently I didn't fully get them resolved as both me and my therapist had thought a the time. It also took me years to even acknowledge this to even apply for disability and seek therapy until just a few years ago. Now for therapy options, there are many options for group therapy, many close by. But I can't do group therapy. I am terrible around groups and it's one reason why you never saw me here or in GAF's mental health OT threads back in the day. I prefer 1 on 1 so I can slowly open up. But that option for 1 on 1 therapy sessions are in another city. Getting help that you need is beyond a struggle, it can often feel damn near impossible. And by the way, I STILL do not have a therapist because of how crappy things are.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding but I didn't say this place is 10x worse than any other place. I send other places are 10x worse than this place which is precisely why I was and am frustrated. Because this is a good place but it could be a lot better.
holy crap you all weren't joking about that other thread, just went back there and some of the posts are the worst I've ever seen on here, I never mod whine but I dunno how this isn't a perm even before this news?
RIP to the guy. Very sad to see this happen.
On the topic of the discussion, it's obvious that there are some very cold and heartless people here, but also everywhere. The terrible posts you see are not RESETERA. They're from cold heartless people on the Resetera forum. There are thousands of others, too. All of you bringing these posts to light are also on Resetera. This forum is not one person. It's not one opinion. So please, can we stop with the "this community" stuff and focus on the problem individuals?
On the topic of the discussion, it's obvious that there are some very cold and heartless people here, but also everywhere. The terrible posts you see are not RESETERA. They're from cold heartless people on the Resetera forum. There are thousands of others, too. All of you bringing these posts to light are also on Resetera. This forum is not one person. It's not one opinion. So please, can we stop with the "this community" stuff and focus on the problem individuals?
Then create a new thread for that discussion. I do agree it needs to be addressed pretty much immediately.
Having a debate after someone (a community member) has passed is extremely distasteful IMO. The focus should be on his life not us.
RIP
This is hitting me harder than I think it would. The guy was the same age as I am. I really liked his larger than life persona, and truly enjoyed his videos. I nearly recognized my reactions in some of those.
I stopped watching him after his first episode, I did not want to keep watching, on the behalf of not be someone who's watching someone else spiraling down thanks to how social media work.
I understand people who were pissed at him for "crying wolf", "seeking attention", "signal boosting". I work as a MD and I worked in psychiatry/addiction medicine for a while, and even we can get a bit angry/resentful at some patients, who we feel are manipulative. But they're all just suffering really, and if not for our training, many of us would be a lot more dismissive I guess ?
Plus, any person with a semblance of empathy who previously dismissed/made light of him and what is basically his suicide note is bound to feel shitty about it. No need for us to argue or do a witch hunt about that.
Let us learn lessons from this and not reiterate past mistakes - and honour Etika's memory.
This is hitting me harder than I think it would. The guy was the same age as I am. I really liked his larger than life persona, and truly enjoyed his videos. I nearly recognized my reactions in some of those.
I stopped watching him after his first episode, I did not want to keep watching, on the behalf of not be someone who's watching someone else spiraling down thanks to how social media work.
I understand people who were pissed at him for "crying wolf", "seeking attention", "signal boosting". I work as a MD and I worked in psychiatry/addiction medicine for a while, and even we can get a bit angry/resentful at some patients, who we feel are manipulative. But they're all just suffering really, and if not for our training, many of us would be a lot more dismissive I guess ?
Plus, any person with a semblance of empathy who previously dismissed/made light of him and what is basically his suicide note is bound to feel shitty about it. No need for us to argue or do a witch hunt about that.
Let us learn lessons from this and not reiterate past mistakes - and honour Etika's memory.
Hearing about his issues with his persona makes me wish that he crossed paths with the right professional. I had similar depersonalization issues, went through a half dozen therapists, and finally found the one who understood me. It's hard. And it takes years, when some people don't have years.