Keep at it, you'll find a groove eventually!
Have you tried out any on-person carriers? The baby k'tan worked really well for my wife to do stuff during the day. I can't remember how old our daughter was when we started using it though.
We have one, but I think it's for when the kid is a bit bigger and has head control.
Yeah, eventually you'll get a good groove.
Then they're develop/change and throw you off, but you get a new groove.
Then they change again, and on and on!
I'm still waiting for the groove where I get to play videogames again with some regularity and feel like a normal person... 🙄
Hang in there. I was there when my kid was young too, but eventually you get to the point where the kid go to bed at a set time, and sleep through the night by themselves.I'm still waiting for the groove where I get to play videogames again with some regularity and feel like a normal person... 🙄
I'm still waiting for the groove where I get to play videogames again with some regularity and feel like a normal person... 🙄
Well tomorrow we're flying to Boston and then heading to Maine for a wedding. My son will be a lap child on the flight and thankfully it's early enough and two hours long I don't think it will be a big deal at all.
The car right though after is what I'm dreading. He already gets mad now when he wants to get out and do baby things but he's going to be stuck for a few hours. I hope he sleeps some of it but well have to see.
Yeah Baby TV is our best friend on Sling. We have a kindle that we're planning on taking but those only last so long before were on to something else.As much as I hate promoting screens, iPads are your friend here. My daughter gets antsy after an hour or so in the car, but then an episode of Sesame Street keeps her calm for a while. We'll be doing the drive from NY to Acadia in about a month...gonna be interesting....
Eh, the swing wasn't so much for sleep as I just need something we can put the baby in to soothe her so we can get things done around the house. Like, we just just cannot keep up with things between me working and her focusing on the baby while she has maternity leave.
So typically what happens is, I get home and I get handed off a baby and my wife passes out. If I try to put her down to cook dinner or clean house, 7 times out of 10, she cries because she likes to be rocked The swing was mostly supposed to be for the purposes of quieting her so things could get done around the house.
We're looking forward to "cry it out" and "sleep training", but we've read you don't want to start that till they're 4 or 5 months old...
Well tomorrow we're flying to Boston and then heading to Maine for a wedding. My son will be a lap child on the flight and thankfully it's early enough and two hours long I don't think it will be a big deal at all.
The car right though after is what I'm dreading. He already gets mad now when he wants to get out and do baby things but he's going to be stuck for a few hours. I hope he sleeps some of it but well have to see.
Have some toys handy to distract him when he gets fussy. I've taken my kid on car trips and while he is usually pretty happy sightseeing for a while and naps for a while, he inevitably gets bored of both of those things and then starts whining to get out. So you need a few distractions on hand to keep him from getting too bored.Well tomorrow we're flying to Boston and then heading to Maine for a wedding. My son will be a lap child on the flight and thankfully it's early enough and two hours long I don't think it will be a big deal at all.
The car right though after is what I'm dreading. He already gets mad now when he wants to get out and do baby things but he's going to be stuck for a few hours. I hope he sleeps some of it but well have to see.
About to start sleep training, sorely needed but not looking forward to it. They were sleeping well and then around 4 months we took them out of swaddles completely as they could roll. They spent some time in those sleep suits but then began to start to roll in those as well. We were getting a few nights a week of sleeping all the way through. Now at 6 months old and for the past month they've been waking up between 3:30 and 4:30 every night and I don't think it is because they are hungry. Thank God they at least don't wake each other up when one starts crying. So the weening off night feedings and tough love begins soon, going to get out doctor's blessing at their 6 month check-up next week. Going to break my heart to let them cry it out ):
About to start sleep training, sorely needed but not looking forward to it. They were sleeping well and then around 4 months we took them out of swaddles completely as they could roll. They spent some time in those sleep suits but then began to start to roll in those as well. We were getting a few nights a week of sleeping all the way through. Now at 6 months old and for the past month they've been waking up between 3:30 and 4:30 every night and I don't think it is because they are hungry. Thank God they at least don't wake each other up when one starts crying. So the weening off night feedings and tough love begins soon, going to get out doctor's blessing at their 6 month check-up next week. Going to break my heart to let them cry it out ):
Wow, sounds like you've already got it pretty lucky. Ours wakes up at least 6 or 7 times throughout the night. Every hour and a half on average. 4 months destroyed his sleeping. Before that he would sleep a chunk about 4 hours sometimes. Since then he won't get past two except on occasion. He's had a 4 hour sleep every couple weeks. He's never slept through the night. 10 months old now.
If it makes you feel any better we did this when our daughter was about 6.5 months old and she cried for maybe 20 minutes. The second night she went straight to sleep and has only rarely cried at bedtime since then.
We did take all her previous diet and compress it into the day, plus maybe a little bit more. Not sure how instrumental that was in it working so well, though.
Yeah, it's not all bad, just want to get all the way there! That sounds rough, I'm sure you've been searching high and low for answers.
We have the bed-time routine down pretty good now and do a little Cry It Out if needed then. Our issue now is the middle of the night wake-ups. For a while the assumption was they must be hungry, or they weren't used to no swaddle, or they were going through sleep regression. At this point I think it's just for attention and we're ready for that tough love. I think like you said we need to compress their diet and do a little more cluster feeding at night before bed. Get em all stocked up.
I'm OK with the crying it out before bed because I know they are well fed and are just fighting it, there's just still that instinct in the middle of the night that something is wrong and wanting to go save them.
It's pretty rough. We've averaged probably 4-5 hours of sleep per night since he's been born. Never really continuous. There aren't answers except sleep training, really, but we don't want to do that. Self soothing is a myth for babies and children until they're much older. Babies don't wake up less because of sleep training. You're just teaching them not to communicate their needs with you at night. They still feel the same emotions, just don't cry.
I guess the other answer is co-sleep and we're contemplating that at this time. We both wouldn't do it with him as a tiny baby. Too afraid, but now that he's older and more substantial we're both a bit more ok with that possibility. We don't have any of the big risk factors like drinking or smoking, so it's much safer if you set things up right.
Just for attention is such a bizarre thing to say about a baby though. They have no idea where their primary caregiver is, they don't know where they are. They wake up in fear and doubt. They're disoriented and cry out because that's the only way they communicate. They can't deal with emotions and won't have that ability for years afterwards. They don't have impulse control. They're crying because they literally need you. You're life for them.
I'm not trying to talk you out of it or anything like that. I know sleep training is needed to, well, live for some parents. Everything's a tradeoff. I just get a bit weird about the phrasing when it comes to babies and toddlers and the whole "for attention" thing.
Harsh wording, for attention is probably a poor choice. I'm not trying to accuse them of being needy lol. It's why sleep training is so tough, you know they are crying because they are afraid and want mom/dad.
But as you stated, it is for us to be functioning human beings. Twins is a full time task for two people and we both work full-time jobs. Going to work on as little sleep as you are mentioning is not an option as it'll either result in an accident or not performing and then not being able to support two kids.
What's better in the long run? Them learning to put themselves back to sleep when there isn't an actual emergency or having two brain dead parents that can't give them the love and attention they need during their "awake" hours.
I'll choose loving and caring parents for 12 hours and tough love parents for the other 12.
Right, sorry I just had a bit of an issue with the wording. I'm not shitting on anyone for doing the sleep training. Parenting is full of making tough decisions unfortunately. That's one of them. You know your situation and you know what's going on.
I just don't like it when people characterize babies, especially like under 1 as weirdly unnecessarily attention seeking like they're manipulative assholes or something. They're babies! As you said, they're afraid and want the only security they've ever known, and they communicate it in the only way they've ever known. It really sucks to have to teach them not too communicate instead.
I still think we sugar coat it by calling it sleep training, etc. You're not training them to sleep. They wake up the same amount. They're still afraid the same amount. They're just not communicating. It's communication training. Or lack thereof. Which, again, if you have to do it you have to do it.
That's all fair and not something I've thought too deeply about so I'm glad you bring up another perspective. It's always good to understand all opinions and I'll certainly be thinking about it. No worries, I appreciate the input.
Are there any breastfeeding videos/guides that really helped you/your partner nail the technique? We're doing a mix of bottle and breast with our daughter, but it's been tough to fully wean her off the former. There are so many times when we get her ready to breastfeed and give up out of frustration.
I'd recommend working with a lactation consultant in person. Most insurance plans should cover at least one session.
No, indeed, it's training them to go back to sleep. There are ways to do it that don't involve abandoning them in the crib— not sure there's any less crying in the end, but I'm not unhappy we didn't stick with cry it out.
We had feeding aversion issues and they were solved by a consultation with the lady who runs this site: https://www.babycareadvice.com/Are there any breastfeeding videos/guides that really helped you/your partner nail the technique? We're doing a mix of bottle and breast with our daughter, but it's been tough to fully wean her off the former. There are so many times when we get her ready to breastfeed and give up out of frustration.
Nope. It trains them not to communicate with you that they're awake and scared/needy, because you're not there at all or are not coming
Being fine with your decision to cry it out has nothing to do with it.
I'll second this. My wife had a REALLY hard time getting my daughter to latch. We worked with two different lactation consultants, probably had a total of 6 or 7 visits. Every situation is different, so having a skilled person evaluate your specific situation is critical. The first one we had was just OK, but the second one we had was amazing and made a huge difference.
My memory is that studies have found no longterm (5Y) difference between kids who were left to cry it out versus those that weren't, and given that the baby won't remember any of it as they grow into childhood, I think how it affects us as parents has everything to do with it.
Tylenol. And if he's ok with Motrin you can piggyback those every 3ish hours if he's really uncomfortable.Well I think teething is officially here right before he turns 9 months. Dude has been out of it all day. He'll only sleep with mom holding him. Lots of drool yesterday and and you can tell he's in pain today. Didn't sleep very well last night at all.
Looks like his top teeth are going to come in first.
Yep we're every 6 hours with liquid Tylenol. Normally 30 minutes after a dose he's somewhat back to normal for a little bit at least.Tylenol. And if he's ok with Motrin you can piggyback those every 3ish hours if he's really uncomfortable.
It's a rough time for the kid...and it happens again around 1.5 years when the canines come in...
Hello folks~!
New parent here, literally just a week ago I became a parent of a baby boy. Besides constantly being tired, the past several days have been an amazing for me and my wife. We're mostly doing okay, she gave birth normally and we're planning to give the baby 100% breast milk until he's ready for the real food later. There are a couple of concerns though. First, it looks like he's having trouble breathing every now and then, it's like he's having a flu. Second, he's sleeping a lot, and it's hard to wake him up for meal time. Any tips would be so much appreciated.
Yeah, we're planning to consult the doctor tomorrow in the morning. Thanks for the input.Our baby was super congested for several weeks after birth and had real problems sleeping certain ways because of it. There were some off the counter drops we used to unknown effect, but it's nice to have a placebo sometimes.
I would definitely consult your doctor or public health nurse (if you have them) though. Don't want to miss something more serious.
Hello folks~!
New parent here, literally just a week ago I became a parent of a baby boy. Besides constantly being tired, the past several days have been an amazing for me and my wife. We're mostly doing okay, she gave birth normally and we're planning to give the baby 100% breast milk until he's ready for the real food later. There are a couple of concerns though. First, it looks like he's having trouble breathing every now and then, it's like he's having a flu. Second, he's sleeping a lot, and it's hard to wake him up for meal time. Any tips would be so much appreciated.
A lot of parents do sleep training because they think their baby then sleeps through the night, but they do not. There's even a study that shows babies with training and without wake up the same amount but parents report far less wake ups. So we're kind of tricking ourselves as to what's going on. Yes, parents of those trained babies feel better and sleep better, too. That's a good tradeoff for some.
But what does a similar number of wakeups even mean? In normal sleep we constantly go through periods where we toss and turn, often in a nearly wakeful state, but we don't remember those occurrences usually and drift back onto deeper sleep.
You're making a lot of assumptions of what babies think and feel. What if you're doing the reverse of sleep training, and you're essentially training your child to wake up those 7 times at night?
I get that sleep training is not for you, but the things you say make it sound like you have rationalized that sleep training is bad or wrong in some way, and there is absolutely zero evidence for that
Hello folks~!
New parent here, literally just a week ago I became a parent of a baby boy. Besides constantly being tired, the past several days have been an amazing for me and my wife. We're mostly doing okay, she gave birth normally and we're planning to give the baby 100% breast milk until he's ready for the real food later. There are a couple of concerns though. First, it looks like he's having trouble breathing every now and then, it's like he's having a flu. Second, he's sleeping a lot, and it's hard to wake him up for meal time. Any tips would be so much appreciated.
Anyone dealing/dealt with baby eczema? Poor guy has been so itchy lately even with moisturizer and prescribed cream. It might have been made worse by a bout of diarrhea he's had this past week, either from a virus or teething. Really want to give him some relief, and worry he might get a scratch or eczema lesion infected with staph or something.
Our little one is definitely on the verge of walking in the next few days/week or so. It's really exciting. We'll watch him stand up and kind of hesitate with one foot. He'll stomp forward with one and maybe drag the other once or twice before tumbling or giving up because it's currently faster to crawl, but he's definitely trying for it. Going to be a whole new world!
A whole new world of "Final Destination: Oh Baby" will open up! \[-_-]/
Huh? If scientifically they wake up the same amount of times with training and without then how would not sleep training actually be training them to wake up? There's be more wake ups if that were true and less if training were making them sleep longer rather than wake up.
And I don't need to make any assumptions for what I'm saying. Babies communicate need via crying. Ignoring that communication until they no longer do it is training them not to communicate. That's all I'm saying.
My issue is with misleading wording of all this. Babies can't self-soothe, either. Regulating emotions requires a far more developed neocortex. Instead of expressing their emotions through communication they freeze up. But the emotions are still there. It's like a deer in headlights. It's still fearful but it's not communicating that.
Other studies show that chemically a baby still experiences elevated cortisol levels, they just don't outwardly express it. So they wake up the same amount and experience the same chemical changes to indicate they are not 'soothed.'