well, you wanna know the difference between you and me?
*slips on sunglasses*
i make this look good
well, you wanna know the difference between you and me?
Yup, it also leaves out other platforms to meet through, like gaming, or forums. So I think the 'walk up to a total stranger in public' and end up as significant others is even more rare.
Anything to cover your face makes you look good.well, you wanna know the difference between you and me?
*slips on sunglasses*
i make this look good
This is why you don't have human friends and you eat pretzels for breakfast.
hey now, me mum says i need to eat carbs everyday if i ever want to be an airline pilot
To be fair to assholes, if all your friends and colleagues are dudebros, macho men and incels, then that's slim pickings!! >:)This might be helpful to know
https://mic.com/articles/112062/the...icant-others-is-not-what-you-think#.qctnJODC2
Hi again! Vex here!
Still trying to understand the difference between a cold and warm approach!!!!! Wow! So much information here! Wow!
Ok so here's a scenario:
Let's say I see someone on the phone surfing RESETERA, and then I get all excited and ask "WOW! You surf there too, huh!?! What's your screen name? We might know each other already!! Wow!"
Is that too cold!?!? Help vex with his research!
haha, sorry, i wasn't sure of the english word for the city equivalent of the town square (large open space with lots of people and shops and restaurants around). is it plaza?in the town square - where do you live, Stardew fucking Valley
There are literally apps for establishing whether someone may be interested in you and arranging dates, you know, if standard human interaction with capital w Women is that foreign to you.
I don't know why you're getting mad at me for asking a question. I've never dated before and rarely socialize. I don't want to be that guy who creeps chicks out by asking'em out. That's why I'm asking on a forum. I don't use Tinder because the chances of me finding anyone on there is slim to none. Only attractive people use Tinder and I'm not attractive so why bother if the end result is nothing?
Exactly. Men get to worry about feeling rejected. Women have to worry about that man feeling rejects AND what will happen if he doesn't react well to feeling rejected. It's so imbalanced it's not even funny.
It's the status quo. Popular movies, popular tv shows, they look at things from the male protagonist's point of view. How does he feel. How does this effect him. How do his male peers think of this. What is he gonna do about it? Dare to ask what any of the women want or think and suddenly it's a chick flick.It's pretty depressing how that is such a difficult concept for some people to grasp. The idea that both fears are anywhere near being equal is just utterly incredulous.
It's also worth noting that the guys who are regularly hitting on women in the streets aren't even worried about the fear of failure. It's just a numbers game. But the women involved don't have that luxury.
It's mind-boggling how women are supposed to care so much about what these creepy dudes are thinking, without any thought going in the opposite direction.
If you're going to be defeatist and shut down all the legitimate paths to a relationship that exist, then that's on you. Maybe what's affecting you most is a lack of confidence. But, like, that's not on the girl. It's not her fault you can't hold your head up high.I don't know why you're getting mad at me for asking a question. I've never dated before and rarely socialize. I don't want to be that guy who creeps chicks out by asking'em out. That's why I'm asking on a forum. I don't use Tinder because the chances of me finding anyone on there is slim to none. Only attractive people use Tinder and I'm not attractive so why bother if the end result is nothing?
I'm checking out. I can't take anymore of UltraMagnus' nonstop spewing of feeble minded Incel bullshit.
It's the status quo. Popular movies, popular tv shows, they look at things from the male protagonist's point of view. How does he feel. How does this effect him. How do his male peers think of this. What is he gonna do about it? Dare to ask what any of the women want or think and suddenly it's a chick flick.
If you're going to be defeatist and shut down all the legitimate paths to a relationship that exist, then that's on you. Maybe what's affecting you most is a lack of confidence. But, like, that's not on the girl. It's not her fault you can't hold your head up high.
That's complete bullshit. Get Bumble, start swiping in both the looking for friends and dating categories.
Go out with people with no alterior motive other than to socialise. You'll build confidence for many things .
No I think you have inserted that definition in yourself.
From the OP and I quote -
in non-PUA terms, what this means is striking up conversations with random women you happen to see on public transport, at the shop, in the town square, in the library or whatever, with the intention of getting a date, or at least a phone number. rather than reserve this to people who have given signals they're interested
You came into a thread asking women if they like being cold approached to bitch about your shitty love life. Don't pretend like you're the one under attack here.I never said that was on the girl? Where did I even imply that? I know I have no confidence, I know I'm a loser. Why do we have to bring this up? No shit sherlock. I could never date if i could never love myself. I can't look in the fucking mirror without being ashamed. I hate myself, I just fucking hate myself and the way I look. Thats the way life is.
I don't know how to be social. It scares me. I wouldn't even know where to begin.
You should work on at least liking yourself before getting a date because if that did work out, that's a ton of baggage you're bring to the table. So for now, just focus on you. Rest more, exercise, a haircut maybe, do things you enjoy. Maybe seek counseling.I never said that was on the girl? Where did I even imply that? I know I have no confidence, I know I'm a loser. Why do we have to bring this up? No shit sherlock. I could never date if i could never love myself. I can't look in the fucking mirror without being ashamed. I hate myself, I just fucking hate myself and the way I look. Thats the way life is.
I don't know how to be social. It scares me. I wouldn't even know where to begin.
I never said that was on the girl? Where did I even imply that? I know I have no confidence, I know I'm a loser. Why do we have to bring this up? No shit sherlock. I could never date if i could never love myself. I can't look in the fucking mirror without being ashamed. I hate myself, I just fucking hate myself and the way I look. Thats the way life is.
I don't know how to be social. It scares me. I wouldn't even know where to begin.
.Never. Go away. I'm not here for you to talk to. In situations where it's possible, if I see some random dude heading my direction, I'll just fucking leave.
Of course, that's rarely actually possible. The reason why women will typically seem receptive is because we've learned what happens if we're not. It's a lot better to smile and nod rather than get some angry guy following you for having the gall to turn him down, which happens a lot more often than you probably think.
You came into a thread asking women if they like being cold approached to bitch about your shitty love life. Don't pretend like you're the one under attack here.
Maybe look into a social coaching club or some such? Such things do exist; my school campus has one. Also it sounds like you might have anxiety?
A lot of it is body language. If you're scared, people can tell that. So you have to learn behavioral tips and tricks to not be scared.
I don't know, I don't have the confidence to ask Women out let alone talk to anyone. But, I don't want to come off as creeper. That's why I'm asking where is the best place to meet Women. This is derailing. I'm sorry.
There's nothing wrong with it at all as long as you act very nice and civil. Some women think of it as almost a form of harassment, but look, if you go up to a girl who's in the middle of her workout at the gym, for example, and tap her on the shoulder and say "excuse me, I just want to say you are incredibly beautiful and have a gorgeous smile" as they are removing their headphones and caching their breath, what you're doing is proving your point that you are in fact an under-appreciated nice shy guy, just like late 90's Jason Biggs, not a creep who doesn't understand what boundaries are. If she can't handle that, she doesn't deserve you.
Reality though is some guy who is the equivalent of a girl with massive amounts of makeup smeared all over herself and thinks she looks hot coming onto you while you're thinking you might wake up in a tub missing some organs.
That comment that if women approached you all the time, you'd be happy? Now imagine it's that fat, ugly girl you knew from grade school that picked her nose and wipes it on people, and now imagine she is bigger than you and maybe wants to rape you. Now does it sound like fun? I mean sure, we women are the same...give me a line of lean, tall men with a smoldering gaze all telling me that they find me attractive and I'll be flattered. Reality though is some guy who is the equivalent of a girl with massive amounts of makeup smeared all over herself and thinks she looks hot coming onto you while you're thinking you might wake up in a tub missing some organs. So sure, small talk is sometimes good. If you happen to click personality wise, great! But coming up to a random girl and drooling all over her (whether you're self aware enough to realize it or not) or making suggestive comments can be super creepy—you don't know what she's into and it might not be you. So just treat her like a normal person? I mean, how do you people make friends? It's the same. And if she doesn't seem like she wants to talk, leave her alone. It's really no different from same sex friends, unless you're just looking for a lay, and there are avenues for that that aren't so public.
dear penthouse forumThe eyes will either invite you (or sometimes even beg you) to approach
It's OK
Some aspects of your post seem to hint at some kind of...it's almost like you're implying there can be increased social privileges resulting from being viewed as attractive/sexy. In reality this is not the case and there are never benefits to being viewed as more attractive than most. The statistics have shown that your social or professional life is never easier in any way when you're considered attractive by your peers. If anything, it is far, far more challenging (though there are some studies yet to be proven as reliable which suggest being viewed as too attractive may lead to it's own unique drawbacks, like increased amounts of sexual harassment, though this is shaky at best and up for debate really).