100% theseRecommendations from people on their favourite condoms / brand?
100% theseRecommendations from people on their favourite condoms / brand?
Hmm there's an online NZ store that ships to AU... certainly looks interesting.
Why do you find them so much better if you don't mind me asking?
Im a little bit thicker than average, condoms used to tear, and were really difficult to put on without air in the tip. These slide on, and because they fit exactly you dont really feel them, or slide off. Lube quantity is sufficient but not too much.
We have basically one namebrand manufacturer over here that you can get everywhere. They sell extra thin ones that you're not supposed to feel. Turns out, if its your size, thats not a problem.
Its like finally wearing shoes in the correct size, lol.
Hey everyone.. so uhh, I'm in a pretty shitty situation right now.
My wife, the woman I've been with for over 8 years, the woman I married last August, cheated on me with one of her colleagues a few weeks ago. I was devastated, but I'm a lot better now and decided to stop giving a fuck about someone who obviously doesn't care for me (reading Mark Manson helped a lot). She has basically already moved out of our place and moved in with him (temporarily, she claims) and I will check out a new apartment on Thursday. If things go well I'll be in the new place by April and I'm 100% ready to start a new life then. This is a clean cut. I'm 32, no house, no kids, no obligations.
This means I'll go out more to meet new people and hopefully find someone who gives a fuck about me. I started reading this thread a few days ago (which inspired me to read Mark Manson's books) and I can't wait to get more involved with y'all!
Hey sorry you had to go through that but happy to hear that you've moved past it.Hey everyone.. so uhh, I'm in a pretty shitty situation right now.
My wife, the woman I've been with for over 8 years, the woman I married last August, cheated on me with one of her colleagues a few weeks ago. I was devastated, but I'm a lot better now and decided to stop giving a fuck about someone who obviously doesn't care for me (reading Mark Manson helped a lot). She has basically already moved out of our place and moved in with him (temporarily, she claims) and I will check out a new apartment on Thursday. If things go well I'll be in the new place by April and I'm 100% ready to start a new life then. This is a clean cut. I'm 32, no house, no kids, no obligations.
This means I'll go out more to meet new people and hopefully find someone who gives a fuck about me. I started reading this thread a few days ago (which inspired me to read Mark Manson's books) and I can't wait to get more involved with y'all!
Doesn't sound like paranoia. It could be anxiety or something on her end and she's self-sabotaging. Or she genuinely has Some life circumstances caving in right now, which happens.
I had a relative hospitalized right before a date once. That actually does happen.
Man, it's completely shocking to me that people can consistently have sex multiple times a day.My relationship is still generally good, but our sex life has kinda fallen off a cliff lately (we've been together just over 2 years). We used to do it a couple times a day, and even when we were a year to a year and a half in it'd usually be 5 times a week at least. But this past weekend we didn't fuck at all for instance, and weekend before that only once.
Not like it's her fault - my libido hasn't been as strong lately and neither of us end up initiating things. But it kinda bums me out cause we had such a great sex life before. Hopefully it's a temporary rut but I'm worried we're turning into an old married couple already. Hopefully we just need to put more effort in and try new things to get that spark going again.
Doesn't matter if I pay for it all, but if she doesn't offer to split then that is pretty much it for me.For the other guys out here, what's the policy on paying for meals? Do you ever split? What do the women here expect?
Yup, I'm not going to make a scene, but if she doesn't offer to split off the bat, it's major negative points in my book. We don't live in those times anymore.Doesn't matter if I pay for it all, but if she doesn't offer to split then that is pretty much it for me.
For meals specifically? I split most of the time. The only time I really pay for a meal (at least with normal dating) is if the girl is some significant distance from me and comes all the way to where I am to go out. Like I went to a local restaurant in my neighborhood with a girl who had to drive some 45+ minutes to get to there. So I offered to pay for the meal. Though to be fair, I do this with some of my friends too.For the other guys out here, what's the policy on paying for meals? Do you ever split? What do the women here expect?
This could turn awkward real quick, I mean by your own admission you haven't really spoken to her outside the office.. so you might be mistaken her good nature as a coworker for something else.Is asking my co-worker out for a formal work ball off-site too straight-forward or a friendly invite?
We also worked on same project before and share the same open office room.
We're somewhat friendly co-workers at best. We never talk outside the crowded office too.
The more I think about this the more problems I find. Maybe I can ask another co-worker who worked with us and I'm close with if she think its a good idea?
This could turn awkward real quick, I mean by your own admission you haven't really spoken to her outside the office.. so you might be mistaken her good nature as a coworker for something else.
Is it normal for couples to have little fights? Sometimes it feels like my so just wants to fight for no reason at all and it feels so weird, like why would you like to fight and sometimes I wonder if I'm too sensitive. Couple of examples:
I was about to eat a bit of bread since I didn't have dinner and she said that was gonna make me fatter. She knows I was pretty fat back when I was younger and even though I'm thin now, I still struggle with some eating disorders.
This last one happened yesterday and it was what triggered me. I started watching Netflix at about 10 pm to relax a bit after work and everything seemed fine and then she randomly comes and says it must be great to be able to have so much free time, that I do almost nothing at work and made it seem like her profession is so much better since she needs to keep updating herself. To put it in perspective, I'm a business owner that usually works 8-6 and she's a doctor though she is unemployed right now since she just graduated.
When I confronted her and said that was fucked up, she said I'm too sensitive and I should tell her to fuck off when she starts it up. I have no idea why but this feels wrong, like hurting someone just for shits and jiggles. For perspective, we've been together for about four months and since she lives with her mother, she sometimes stays at my place.
My relationship is still generally good, but our sex life has kinda fallen off a cliff lately (we've been together just over 2 years). We used to do it a couple times a day, and even when we were a year to a year and a half in it'd usually be 5 times a week at least. But this past weekend we didn't fuck at all for instance, and weekend before that only once.
Not like it's her fault - my libido hasn't been as strong lately and neither of us end up initiating things. But it kinda bums me out cause we had such a great sex life before. Hopefully it's a temporary rut but I'm worried we're turning into an old married couple already. Hopefully we just need to put more effort in and try new things to get that spark going again.
You're only 4 months in and already fighting regularly? That's not a good sign, you're supposed to be in the honeymoon phase. Even then, little fights are one thing but your SO shouldn't be ridiculing you about your weight or belittling your job ever.Is it normal for couples to have little fights? Sometimes it feels like my so just wants to fight for no reason at all and it feels so weird, like why would you like to fight and sometimes I wonder if I'm too sensitive. Couple of examples:
I was about to eat a bit of bread since I didn't have dinner and she said that was gonna make me fatter. She knows I was pretty fat back when I was younger and even though I'm thin now, I still struggle with some eating disorders.
This last one happened yesterday and it was what triggered me. I started watching Netflix at about 10 pm to relax a bit after work and everything seemed fine and then she randomly comes and says it must be great to be able to have so much free time, that I do almost nothing at work and made it seem like her profession is so much better since she needs to keep updating herself. To put it in perspective, I'm a business owner that usually works 8-6 and she's a doctor though she is unemployed right now since she just graduated.
When I confronted her and said that was fucked up, she said I'm too sensitive and I should tell her to fuck off when she starts it up. I have no idea why but this feels wrong, like hurting someone just for shits and jiggles. For perspective, we've been together for about four months and since she lives with her mother, she sometimes stays at my place.
You're only 4 months in and already fighting regularly? That's not a good sign, you're supposed to be in the honeymoon phase. Even then, little fights are one thing but your SO shouldn't be ridiculing you about your weight or belittling your job ever.
I was going to say that fighting is normal, but she just sounds like she's being combative for fighting's sake. And that could ALL BE OK if she respected your boundaries when you tried to talk. THAT would be the final straw imo. It sounds like you're being mistreated.Is it normal for couples to have little fights? Sometimes it feels like my so just wants to fight for no reason at all and it feels so weird, like why would you like to fight and sometimes I wonder if I'm too sensitive. Couple of examples:
I was about to eat a bit of bread since I didn't have dinner and she said that was gonna make me fatter. She knows I was pretty fat back when I was younger and even though I'm thin now, I still struggle with some eating disorders.
This last one happened yesterday and it was what triggered me. I started watching Netflix at about 10 pm to relax a bit after work and everything seemed fine and then she randomly comes and says it must be great to be able to have so much free time, that I do almost nothing at work and made it seem like her profession is so much better since she needs to keep updating herself. To put it in perspective, I'm a business owner that usually works 8-6 and she's a doctor though she is unemployed right now since she just graduated.
When I confronted her and said that was fucked up, she said I'm too sensitive and I should tell her to fuck off when she starts it up. I have no idea why but this feels wrong, like hurting someone just for shits and jiggles. For perspective, we've been together for about four months and since she lives with her mother, she sometimes stays at my place.
It's normal in some couples' situations. Like my girlfriend and I have little squabbles all the time about almost anything. The difference between my situation and yours is that your girlfriend seems to be tearing you down. maybe that's just her personality and not a sign she's unhappy with you but it's clear that it's not your personality. So out of respect for yourself you should talk to her about this in a non-combative way.Is it normal for couples to have little fights? Sometimes it feels like my so just wants to fight for no reason at all and it feels so weird, like why would you like to fight and sometimes I wonder if I'm too sensitive. Couple of examples:
I was about to eat a bit of bread since I didn't have dinner and she said that was gonna make me fatter. She knows I was pretty fat back when I was younger and even though I'm thin now, I still struggle with some eating disorders.
This last one happened yesterday and it was what triggered me. I started watching Netflix at about 10 pm to relax a bit after work and everything seemed fine and then she randomly comes and says it must be great to be able to have so much free time, that I do almost nothing at work and made it seem like her profession is so much better since she needs to keep updating herself. To put it in perspective, I'm a business owner that usually works 8-6 and she's a doctor though she is unemployed right now since she just graduated.
When I confronted her and said that was fucked up, she said I'm too sensitive and I should tell her to fuck off when she starts it up. I have no idea why but this feels wrong, like hurting someone just for shits and jiggles. For perspective, we've been together for about four months and since she lives with her mother, she sometimes stays at my place.
Bit of a long feel-good story about my personal dating progress.
I started online dating for the very first time (and posting in this thread) sometime in June 2019. My confidence was shattered from my last relationship and I was coming to grips with the fact that perhaps, I never had that confidence in the first place. I was so good at faking it, I forgot that I had to eventually make it. And so began my clumsy, blundering journey through online dating. I went on lots of first dates, got chat ghosted by a loooot more people. I sucked it up, understood why people did what they did (and it doesn't make them bad people) and learned to take a few (or a lot) on the chin. Got in and out of a relationship even. But through it all, I was determined to put myself out there. I was here to learn how to socialize, learn how to be dateable.
And so here we are, 7 months later. I accepted a standup routine role for a roast of a friend. I'd never done standup before, but I knew I could be funny given a month's lead time lol. I did my bit, got about average laughs, and sat back down. However, this time, instead of sticking with my friends like I always do, I pushed myself to mingle with the crowd.
Two women recognized me and approached me at separate occasions. They were pretty. I bought them drinks and we chatted, but neither was my type, so I eventually ended the conversation without leading them on and moved on. Now, I know I'll probably never be in such a recognizable position again, but this was probably the first time in my life where I was approached. And this was also probably the first time in my life I kind of rejected the girl. Instead of blundering over how to present myself in the best light to any random cute girl, I made a cogent decision that they did not meet what I was looking for. Idk, I felt really proud of that.
I guess I just wanted to share how I got from point A to point B. I've talked about my philosophy of learning in this thread, but the other thing that goes hand in hand with that is just putting yourself out there so that you can learn in the first place. Within these last few months, I:
Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and lean on your friends. For every single thing on that list, I either was with a friend or it was for a friend. It was hard for me to say, "hey, I need help taking photos for my dating profile, do you guys mind if we stop every once in a while for photos?", but good friends will of course be willing to help.
- Walked into modern clothing stores and asked the employees there for fashion advice, slowly rebuilding my wardrobe from 0 over months.
- Signed up for rock climbing as a fun way to exercise and meet people.
- Practiced dancing in the mirror and then out in person at parties, fully knowing I was going to look dumb at first, but you know what? Nobody cared more than me.
- Attended a foreign wedding and as only 1 of 2 Westerners in the party, agreed last minute to do a dance presentation on stage.
- Said yes to as many invites as possible to go out.
- Signed up for a standup routine despite having never done it before.
But friends or no, it's still not going to be easy to put yourself out there. But it also isn't as hard as you think. I once read an article a woman wrote that said, "10 times out of 10, I will find the fatter guy who's not afraid to jump into the pool more attractive than the fit guy fussing about being in the water." After high school, nobody is out to bully you, most people are just trying to enjoy their limited weekend. You'll see that instead of what you think will happen, you'll often find the opposite. Instead of sneering at me, those clothing store employees were so enthusiastic to help. It adds some variety to their day too and lets them flex their muscle. Use that to your advantage and just put yourself out there, whatever it is. Don't be afraid to fail, because you will. But you gotta fail a bunch before you can unlock that last skill tree hiding the real you.
As for me, I'm still not done growing. I still have a lot more to learn about myself. And I'm still single after all this! But a lot of the anxiety is gone. Because the only thing worse than looking dumb in public is dreading looking dumb in public for decades. Don't do what I did lol.
Thanks for reading. Hope this wasn't too preachy!
Is it normal for couples to have little fights? Sometimes it feels like my so just wants to fight for no reason at all and it feels so weird, like why would you like to fight and sometimes I wonder if I'm too sensitive. Couple of examples:
I was about to eat a bit of bread since I didn't have dinner and she said that was gonna make me fatter. She knows I was pretty fat back when I was younger and even though I'm thin now, I still struggle with some eating disorders.
This last one happened yesterday and it was what triggered me. I started watching Netflix at about 10 pm to relax a bit after work and everything seemed fine and then she randomly comes and says it must be great to be able to have so much free time, that I do almost nothing at work and made it seem like her profession is so much better since she needs to keep updating herself. To put it in perspective, I'm a business owner that usually works 8-6 and she's a doctor though she is unemployed right now since she just graduated.
When I confronted her and said that was fucked up, she said I'm too sensitive and I should tell her to fuck off when she starts it up. I have no idea why but this feels wrong, like hurting someone just for shits and jiggles. For perspective, we've been together for about four months and since she lives with her mother, she sometimes stays at my place.
Yea this shit ain't gonna last. I dated someone like this.Is it normal for couples to have little fights? Sometimes it feels like my so just wants to fight for no reason at all and it feels so weird, like why would you like to fight and sometimes I wonder if I'm too sensitive. Couple of examples:
I was about to eat a bit of bread since I didn't have dinner and she said that was gonna make me fatter. She knows I was pretty fat back when I was younger and even though I'm thin now, I still struggle with some eating disorders.
This last one happened yesterday and it was what triggered me. I started watching Netflix at about 10 pm to relax a bit after work and everything seemed fine and then she randomly comes and says it must be great to be able to have so much free time, that I do almost nothing at work and made it seem like her profession is so much better since she needs to keep updating herself. To put it in perspective, I'm a business owner that usually works 8-6 and she's a doctor though she is unemployed right now since she just graduated.
When I confronted her and said that was fucked up, she said I'm too sensitive and I should tell her to fuck off when she starts it up. I have no idea why but this feels wrong, like hurting someone just for shits and jiggles. For perspective, we've been together for about four months and since she lives with her mother, she sometimes stays at my place.
🚨🚨🚨Is it normal for couples to have little fights? Sometimes it feels like my so just wants to fight for no reason at all and it feels so weird, like why would you like to fight and sometimes I wonder if I'm too sensitive. Couple of examples:
I was about to eat a bit of bread since I didn't have dinner and she said that was gonna make me fatter. She knows I was pretty fat back when I was younger and even though I'm thin now, I still struggle with some eating disorders.
This last one happened yesterday and it was what triggered me. I started watching Netflix at about 10 pm to relax a bit after work and everything seemed fine and then she randomly comes and says it must be great to be able to have so much free time, that I do almost nothing at work and made it seem like her profession is so much better since she needs to keep updating herself. To put it in perspective, I'm a business owner that usually works 8-6 and she's a doctor though she is unemployed right now since she just graduated.
When I confronted her and said that was fucked up, she said I'm too sensitive and I should tell her to fuck off when she starts it up. I have no idea why but this feels wrong, like hurting someone just for shits and jiggles. For perspective, we've been together for about four months and since she lives with her mother, she sometimes stays at my place.
Is it normal for couples to have little fights? Sometimes it feels like my so just wants to fight for no reason at all and it feels so weird, like why would you like to fight and sometimes I wonder if I'm too sensitive. Couple of examples:
I was about to eat a bit of bread since I didn't have dinner and she said that was gonna make me fatter. She knows I was pretty fat back when I was younger and even though I'm thin now, I still struggle with some eating disorders.
This last one happened yesterday and it was what triggered me. I started watching Netflix at about 10 pm to relax a bit after work and everything seemed fine and then she randomly comes and says it must be great to be able to have so much free time, that I do almost nothing at work and made it seem like her profession is so much better since she needs to keep updating herself. To put it in perspective, I'm a business owner that usually works 8-6 and she's a doctor though she is unemployed right now since she just graduated.
When I confronted her and said that was fucked up, she said I'm too sensitive and I should tell her to fuck off when she starts it up. I have no idea why but this feels wrong, like hurting someone just for shits and jiggles. For perspective, we've been together for about four months and since she lives with her mother, she sometimes stays at my place.
Just went on a date with a girl, despite my shyness, she is pretty into me, said she wished she were there when i said i was watching a movie at home. We work at the same university and i went there just to say hello before going to my building and she gave me a super long and solid hug and we already planned a second date next week-end.
The thing is, i have no idea what is love. Is it something i should know right away if i lile the person? Or is it a development thing? Why is it more clingy despite saying she want to hold on a few weeks to see if she click with the other person.
Am I a baddy if I think that she is pretty but i've seen prettier? To be honest, am I 100% myself when im with her? No. I was with another date that became a friend because she wasn't ready for a relationship, but maybe if i continue to see this person it would unblock.
I feel like an idiot asking that
After one date you won't know anything yet my friend. Did you enjoy hanging out with her? Cool, then do it again! If you enjoy your time with her, you'll keep seeing her and if something is gonna develop, it will and you'll know.Just went on a date with a girl, despite my shyness, she is pretty into me, said she wished she were there when i said i was watching a movie at home. We work at the same university and i went there just to say hello before going to my building and she gave me a super long and solid hug and we already planned a second date next week-end.
The thing is, i have no idea what is love. Is it something i should know right away if i lile the person? Or is it a development thing? Why is it more clingy despite saying she want to hold on a few weeks to see if she click with the other person.
Am I a baddy if I think that she is pretty but i've seen prettier? To be honest, am I 100% myself when im with her? No. I was with another date that became a friend because she wasn't ready for a relationship, but maybe if i continue to see this person it would unblock.
I feel like an idiot asking that
First time I'm posting in this thread, but I'm honestly a little lost here. I met an amazing woman on Tinder, we talked for some time and decided to meet up. It was a great first date for the both of us (lasted about 6 hours), she actually said so as well. During this date we were already thinking of future dates. Hell, she even asked if I'd consider moving to her city at one point (though not because of a potential relationship, just a general question), which totally caught me off guard.
So first date went well, kept talking and set up a second date. Again, it all felt great. Again, ideas were being thrown around for future dates. I offered her a ride home, but she refused so I didn't press it (it's a pretty long drive and she thought it was totally crazy to do that). The topic of movies came up and I figured I'd suggest a movie night at her place. She accepted, after I asked her if she was sure she was comfortable with that and she said she was. All in all, another great date.
So a couple of days later I asked her if we could set a date for said movie night. She then told me she thought it wasn't a good idea after all and that she feels a little pressured. We planned another date during the second one (not the movie night) and she added that she still wants to go through with that, but only as friends and without any expectations. I apoligised for making her feel pressured and putting her on the spot with my suggestion.
I'm honestly bamboozled at this point. Mind you, I'm not an idiot and I know damn well that she thought that night might have lead to me making a move or sex and that she wasn't ready for that, which I totally respect. I don't mind taking it slow and would'nt have written her off if she told me it was too soon. But now, it kinda feels like she has written me off for merely making a suggestion, even if I told her multiple times that it wasn't a problem at all if she wasn't comfortable with that. Depending on who I talk to about it, the conclusion is that either she friendzoned me and it's never going to work OR she's simply telling me to take it slow and we'll see what happens. I agreed on the next date (which she seemed happy about), but that's not for a couple of weeks from now, so I figured it's best to give her some breathing room at this point.
Thoughts?
That's why I'm picky as hell and don't agree to meet up in person until I know we have at least some similar interests 😂The last few people I've been on dates with have been... boring as all heck. How do people not have any interest in anything outside work? No tv, games, movies, books, sports, talking a walk, writing, sleeping in on the weekend, looking at license plates, NOTHING!?
Geeze. Ready to give up dating because these ladies are the most uninteresting people I've ever encountered. Maybe there is just some trend I'm missing where they only want to talk about what I'm interested in for the first few dates that I'm unaware of, but wow.
Flat out stopped talking to a few of them because of this. Can't be bothered to carry the conversation anymore myself.
its different for everyone, and different with every person you will date. Just be honest with her, have some fun dates and see if you notice feeling different about her. Love at first date is rare to the point of mythical, and no more real than feelings that develop slowly.
After one date you won't know anything yet my friend. Did you enjoy hanging out with her? Cool, then do it again! If you enjoy your time with her, you'll keep seeing her and if something is gonna develop, it will and you'll know.
In my world, I'm single again. After 5 years and ending that, having a break for 7 months and dating someone for 2 months after that, I think I need a looooong break to do my own shit. The girl was cool and nice but I just wasn't into it. I kept thinking of the shit I wanna do and every image had just me in it so that's what I'm gonna do for a while until I finally switch my career, move out of my grandparents' and have my shit together.
IMO, why does it matter which one it is? Either A) you like her because it comes from her, or B) you like her because she gives you that thing you're missing. Don't think too hard about it. Just enjoy your time with the lady!My main problem is that im 31, only had one relationship for 1 month, that's how insecure i was about my body for all these years (underweight and other health problem).
So being alone all this time, i dont know what i want VS what i need. It's difficult to differenciate the two. For exemple, when she hug me, i like that. But do i like that because it's from her, because she seems to show love, sometime i never really experience before, or is it just because i need this type of love in my life, something missing.
I would hate myself to be one of that guy who only rely on love to try to love myself or feel better about myself
That's why I'm picky as hell and don't agree to meet up in person until I know we have at least some similar interests 😂
Where did you even find these people?
Bit of a long feel-good story about my personal dating progress.
My main problem is that im 31, only had one relationship for 1 month, that's how insecure i was about my body for all these years (underweight and other health problem).
So being alone all this time, i dont know what i want VS what i need. It's difficult to differenciate the two. For exemple, when she hug me, i like that. But do i like that because it's from her, because she seems to show love, sometime i never really experience before, or is it just because i need this type of love in my life, something missing.
Bit of a long feel-good story about my personal dating progress.
I started online dating for the very first time (and posting in this thread) sometime in June 2019. My confidence was shattered from my last relationship and I was coming to grips with the fact that perhaps, I never had that confidence in the first place. I was so good at faking it, I forgot that I had to eventually make it. And so began my clumsy, blundering journey through online dating. I went on lots of first dates, got chat ghosted by a loooot more people. I sucked it up, understood why people did what they did (and it doesn't make them bad people) and learned to take a few (or a lot) on the chin. Got in and out of a relationship even. But through it all, I was determined to put myself out there. I was here to learn how to socialize, learn how to be dateable.
And so here we are, 7 months later. I accepted a standup routine role for a roast of a friend. I'd never done standup before, but I knew I could be funny given a month's lead time lol. I did my bit, got about average laughs, and sat back down. However, this time, instead of sticking with my friends like I always do, I pushed myself to mingle with the crowd.
Two women recognized me and approached me at separate occasions. They were pretty. I bought them drinks and we chatted, but neither was my type, so I eventually ended the conversation without leading them on and moved on. Now, I know I'll probably never be in such a recognizable position again, but this was probably the first time in my life where I was approached. And this was also probably the first time in my life I kind of rejected the girl. Instead of blundering over how to present myself in the best light to any random cute girl, I made a cogent decision that they did not meet what I was looking for. Idk, I felt really proud of that.
I guess I just wanted to share how I got from point A to point B. I've talked about my philosophy of learning in this thread, but the other thing that goes hand in hand with that is just putting yourself out there so that you can learn in the first place. Within these last few months, I:
Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and lean on your friends. For every single thing on that list, I either was with a friend or it was for a friend. It was hard for me to say, "hey, I need help taking photos for my dating profile, do you guys mind if we stop every once in a while for photos?", but good friends will of course be willing to help.
- Walked into modern clothing stores and asked the employees there for fashion advice, slowly rebuilding my wardrobe from 0 over months.
- Signed up for rock climbing as a fun way to exercise and meet people.
- Practiced dancing in the mirror and then out in person at parties, fully knowing I was going to look dumb at first, but you know what? Nobody cared more than me.
- Attended a foreign wedding and as only 1 of 2 Westerners in the party, agreed last minute to do a dance presentation on stage.
- Said yes to as many invites as possible to go out.
- Signed up for a standup routine despite having never done it before.
But friends or no, it's still not going to be easy to put yourself out there. But it also isn't as hard as you think. I once read an article a woman wrote that said, "10 times out of 10, I will find the fatter guy who's not afraid to jump into the pool more attractive than the fit guy fussing about being in the water." After high school, nobody is out to bully you, most people are just trying to enjoy their limited weekend. You'll see that instead of what you think will happen, you'll often find the opposite. Instead of sneering at me, those clothing store employees were so enthusiastic to help. It adds some variety to their day too and lets them flex their muscle. Use that to your advantage and just put yourself out there, whatever it is. Don't be afraid to fail, because you will. But you gotta fail a bunch before you can unlock that last skill tree hiding the real you.
As for me, I'm still not done growing. I still have a lot more to learn about myself. And I'm still single after all this! But a lot of the anxiety is gone. Because the only thing worse than looking dumb in public is dreading looking dumb in public for decades. Don't do what I did lol.
Thanks for reading. Hope this wasn't too preachy!
My main problem is that im 31, only had one relationship for 1 month, that's how insecure i was about my body for all these years (underweight and other health problem).
So being alone all this time, i dont know what i want VS what i need. It's difficult to differenciate the two. For exemple, when she hug me, i like that. But do i like that because it's from her, because she seems to show love, sometime i never really experience before, or is it just because i need this type of love in my life, something missing.
I would hate myself to be one of that guy who only rely on love to try to love myself or feel better about myself
Always been in long term relationships till now. As a dude when having casual hook-ups and using protection what is the general etiquette on ejaculation when hooking up with someone new?
That's not a general boundary though, it's a very personal thing and I never got the impression that I was crossing a line in this case. It's not like she told me all this before I asked that question, if she did I never would've asked. It does take two to communicate. If you keep saying yes to things and then suddenly change your mind, I'd say it's pretty normal to be confused about where you stand. Am I responsible for leaving that impression? Of course I am, I'm not downplaying that. But depending on the person, it's not a bad impression.I think I'm in the minority here, but I think you really crossed a boundary when you asked so quickly about going over to her place. Yeah, you asked if she was OK with it multiple times etc, but IMO you already put the impression in her head that you were looking for something physical, and quick. It's hard to shake that. You seem to be downplaying your culpability here, as well, which is disappointing.
That's not a general boundary though, it's a very personal thing and I never got the impression that I was crossing a line in this case. It's not like she told me all this before I asked that question, if she did I never would've asked. It does take two to communicate. If you keep saying yes to things and then suddenly change your mind, I'd say it's pretty normal to be confused about where you stand. Am I responsible for leaving that impression? Of course I am, I'm not downplaying that. But depending on the person, it's not a bad impression.
Also, it's not a guarantee that people end up in bed together when they have a 'movie night'. Sure, it happens and it's obvious that she got that impression as well, but it's not a sure thing. But I guess we have the whole Netflix and chill meme to thank for that one.
Was it really "so quickly?" I don't exactly see how they did anything wrong there.I think I'm in the minority here, but I think you really crossed a boundary when you asked so quickly about going over to her place. Yeah, you asked if she was OK with it multiple times etc, but IMO you already put the impression in her head that you were looking for something physical, and quick. It's hard to shake that. You seem to be downplaying your culpability here, as well, which is disappointing.
For the record, this was over a period of around 6-7 weeks, lots of chatting and 2 (great) dates.Was it really "so quickly?" I don't exactly see how they did anything wrong there.
Yeah, I don't think you "crossed a boundary." Even if you intended to suggest something physical from the movie night idea, it's not wrong to want to have sex with a person you're dating. She can refuse, of course; you accepted that and didn't press her any further which is how you should react. I mean, that is to assume that merely suggesting a movie at home even counts as pressuring someone for sex, which I think is a bit absurd. People date and have sex - that's normal - someone has to make the first move.For the record, this was over a period of around 6-7 weeks, lots of chatting and 2 (great) dates.
For the record, this was over a period of around 6-7 weeks, lots of chatting and 2 (great) dates.