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It's Trans Awareness Week! (Nov 13th -19th)
- Thread starter Kyuuji
- Start date
Honestly, I'll be shocked if this thread isn't deleted tomorrow, if not before then. Like Chick-Fil-A, ERA staff has lost all benefit of doubt for me.
Makes all those statements staff promised the new users when we migrated 2 years ago even more insulting.
W-wh-what the fuck?
Great news, everyone. It's even worse than we thought.
New page new post though.
Wait, really? Roy's acephobia isn't the smoking gun? Wonderful... Thank you for sharing this info, Robin, & I hope Ketkat knows how much we all appreciate her.
What gets me is that the staff straight away accused Ketkat of abusing her relationship, hacking, spying and all in pretty much the strongest possible language. And they did so in public.
Completely ignoring how inviting people to speculate about their relationship is a pretty vile and puts a huge target on both their backs. So much for privacy and safety.
No matter how she got the info, at least Ketkat had the decency not to name anyone in her message, if she even knew the details in the first place. It would have been really nice if the mods would have shown the same basic amount of respect to her.
Completely ignoring how inviting people to speculate about their relationship is a pretty vile and puts a huge target on both their backs. So much for privacy and safety.
No matter how she got the info, at least Ketkat had the decency not to name anyone in her message, if she even knew the details in the first place. It would have been really nice if the mods would have shown the same basic amount of respect to her.
This whole situation is depressing.
So many enthusiast gaming communities I avoid due to the bigotry and toxicity and ResetEra was suppose to be one of the few decent places.
But with this and the whole Etika situation I can't help but feel uncomfortable here.
The community deserves better.
So many enthusiast gaming communities I avoid due to the bigotry and toxicity and ResetEra was suppose to be one of the few decent places.
But with this and the whole Etika situation I can't help but feel uncomfortable here.
The community deserves better.
This is the last thing I am going to post about this, if I get banned oh well though I would prefer not to, from now on I will stick to posting about games and comics if that.
This was the one place I felt safe to talk about who I am. I am still in the closet IRL. Sometimes I feel as if that makes people dismiss/not take me seriously/think I am a liar.
I do not feel safe. I am not in a position (I am disabled and cannot and will not ever be able to legally drive) to just burn all bridges and move somewhere this is accepted though most nights being able to is the story I tell myself and fantasize while falling asleep.
Though I knew my identity would never fly with most of my extended family I learned a very harsh lesson at 17. My stepfather snuck into my room without me realizing and found me in my previously safe space wearing a dress and makeup. He beat me unconscious. I woke up to him having called the cops and while it's not legal as I was a minor in my mothers care they escorted me off the property while telling my stepfather "it's their pleasure to help him get rid of this sick f**, if I had my way we could just shoot them".
That fucked me up for years, and while my mother is no longer with him (and while I have never told her things she has said and how she acts about trans causes makes me believe she knows and will do anything to both have me forgive her, and more importantly forgive herself) it's still a bone of contention between us and I know my brother who is like my twin even though we are seperate by a couple years still has resentments towards her about it.
I will NEVER let any of my extended family know.
The saddest part is I have accepted who I was at about age 5 or 6 and my issue has never been self acceptance but safety. Flash Forward to now and I was (mostly through hope and support provided by the members of ERA's trans community) ready. Was going to tell my immediate, a friend or two, and then disappear to everyone else while beginning transition. And then trump not only got elected and has been pushing more and more anti trans regulation including trying to make it legal for the medical profession and government to discriminate specifically against trans people and keep us from being a protected class.
I am disabled. I have a blood mutation that is aggressive and has already almost killed me a dozen times and probably it or related complications will still probably be the death of me, but with care I should still make to where though that kills me a dozen things could have. I also due to it mixed with my experience and education, and prior work history combined with what I am prepared and able to do for work I am unemployable and on government disability with a fixed income, and reliant on government provides healthcare to make sure it doesn't kill me, I average multiple hospital visits a year and multiweek stays 2 or 3 times every two or three years all because of how at risk my health is.
So since I rely on the good faith of the same people who are trying to make it so both government and medical professions can discriminate against and refuse me service, being the same people who have to approve the benefits that literally keep me alive and able to eat and have a roof over my head, is it all that surprising I scurried right back I to the closet? Being in my 40's ain't have lost hope for me, but have doubled down in my efforts to support the cause, in real life with volunteering and what little money I can, things with real effect beyond talking on the internet because I hope I can help so we reach a point where no little girl or boy has to accept being a boy or girl even though they are not for their own safety or other reasons. I want a world where mine is the last generation that has to face that sort of thing and it becomes normal for trans kids to identify to the world and for the world to eagerly and normally help those children facilitate fixing things so they can live normally as who they are.
Unfortunately we are not there and IRL I feel like I am in more danger than ever. Era was my refuge,the one place I felt free, I thought I could be honest, and the help of others could not only help my Dream for others but also help me see a light at the end of my own tunnel.
That dream is dead and I feel inmore danger than ever and now I have no outlet, I mean in this thread alone you have one person with a history being offensive and when that's pointed out doubling down while still being offensive and a known shitposter with a history of shitposting not really being offensive but definitely sticking there nose in to make drive by observations unneeded with not even a warning or a "hey back off" while we all get the "despiser your animosity we have been nice but that ends now threats" in a trans awareness week thread discussing the horrible treatment the trans community here faces and from the looks of it lots of that community isn't going to be here any longer ( and I am sure that makes more than a small minority happy, maybe we will stop being offended and lighten up, just because we are the most discriminated against and in the most physical danger, especially are sisters that are black and brown we should still be nice and defer to the majority about what should be an issue or considered offensive right? We sure are an uplift bunch...) so I don't feel safe at all here anymore and if I am not banned and do post here it will after this post never be about this issue or in one of these threads again. Not only do I have to worry about all the enemy eyes on this site and if they were to ever decide to focus on me, but to worry about that on a board that has shown time and time again that except for a few (and there are posters, and even with this a couple mods and staff-not a monolith-that I truly believe have our back) most at best tolerate us/are "allies" as long as it doesn't require any actual backbone all the way to people (not going to mention names but if I did their are receipts, a certain "physician" handled poster comes to mind) who straight up come into trans threads to concern troll and spread TERF talking points without moderation, if I have to read one more time the "but what about actual born real woman's concerns, their opinion should matter most" in a trans athlete thread my fist would go through a monitor. But hey not going to participate in any of that anymore if I am here, back in the closet here too seems the safest bet ( I also quite remember before before settling on this avatar, which I picked as closest to my physicality/looks if I were to transition, and the fact my chosen name is jessi, I had a Walton Goggins avatar from VP and in a trans thread someone (not trans) attacked me and said I was either faking or just looking to be offended because no way I could be trans or care about the issue because I had that avatar and I should hate Walton for his role in SOA or something, and of course that was okay for that poster to do, no side eye from anyone but me) and yes I am over sharing but to begin it's the last time I share at all, second I want to get across why safety matters to me and how and why I feel the equivalent of being backstabbed and losing the only friend I had for the one issue in my life that matters most.
But some people can now feel safe sharing their mundane life details and totally not anything offensive in the private discord for a board that was supposedly founded on the notion of transparency and not repeating the mistakes of NeoGaf.
I am glad someone feels safe cause I don't, but I guess that makes it all gravy, the people that matter feel safe while we all feel we have to leave or muzzle ourselves or possibly as in my case right now get banned.
I guess it all evens out😞
This was the one place I felt safe to talk about who I am. I am still in the closet IRL. Sometimes I feel as if that makes people dismiss/not take me seriously/think I am a liar.
I do not feel safe. I am not in a position (I am disabled and cannot and will not ever be able to legally drive) to just burn all bridges and move somewhere this is accepted though most nights being able to is the story I tell myself and fantasize while falling asleep.
Though I knew my identity would never fly with most of my extended family I learned a very harsh lesson at 17. My stepfather snuck into my room without me realizing and found me in my previously safe space wearing a dress and makeup. He beat me unconscious. I woke up to him having called the cops and while it's not legal as I was a minor in my mothers care they escorted me off the property while telling my stepfather "it's their pleasure to help him get rid of this sick f**, if I had my way we could just shoot them".
That fucked me up for years, and while my mother is no longer with him (and while I have never told her things she has said and how she acts about trans causes makes me believe she knows and will do anything to both have me forgive her, and more importantly forgive herself) it's still a bone of contention between us and I know my brother who is like my twin even though we are seperate by a couple years still has resentments towards her about it.
I will NEVER let any of my extended family know.
The saddest part is I have accepted who I was at about age 5 or 6 and my issue has never been self acceptance but safety. Flash Forward to now and I was (mostly through hope and support provided by the members of ERA's trans community) ready. Was going to tell my immediate, a friend or two, and then disappear to everyone else while beginning transition. And then trump not only got elected and has been pushing more and more anti trans regulation including trying to make it legal for the medical profession and government to discriminate specifically against trans people and keep us from being a protected class.
I am disabled. I have a blood mutation that is aggressive and has already almost killed me a dozen times and probably it or related complications will still probably be the death of me, but with care I should still make to where though that kills me a dozen things could have. I also due to it mixed with my experience and education, and prior work history combined with what I am prepared and able to do for work I am unemployable and on government disability with a fixed income, and reliant on government provides healthcare to make sure it doesn't kill me, I average multiple hospital visits a year and multiweek stays 2 or 3 times every two or three years all because of how at risk my health is.
So since I rely on the good faith of the same people who are trying to make it so both government and medical professions can discriminate against and refuse me service, being the same people who have to approve the benefits that literally keep me alive and able to eat and have a roof over my head, is it all that surprising I scurried right back I to the closet? Being in my 40's ain't have lost hope for me, but have doubled down in my efforts to support the cause, in real life with volunteering and what little money I can, things with real effect beyond talking on the internet because I hope I can help so we reach a point where no little girl or boy has to accept being a boy or girl even though they are not for their own safety or other reasons. I want a world where mine is the last generation that has to face that sort of thing and it becomes normal for trans kids to identify to the world and for the world to eagerly and normally help those children facilitate fixing things so they can live normally as who they are.
Unfortunately we are not there and IRL I feel like I am in more danger than ever. Era was my refuge,the one place I felt free, I thought I could be honest, and the help of others could not only help my Dream for others but also help me see a light at the end of my own tunnel.
That dream is dead and I feel inmore danger than ever and now I have no outlet, I mean in this thread alone you have one person with a history being offensive and when that's pointed out doubling down while still being offensive and a known shitposter with a history of shitposting not really being offensive but definitely sticking there nose in to make drive by observations unneeded with not even a warning or a "hey back off" while we all get the "despiser your animosity we have been nice but that ends now threats" in a trans awareness week thread discussing the horrible treatment the trans community here faces and from the looks of it lots of that community isn't going to be here any longer ( and I am sure that makes more than a small minority happy, maybe we will stop being offended and lighten up, just because we are the most discriminated against and in the most physical danger, especially are sisters that are black and brown we should still be nice and defer to the majority about what should be an issue or considered offensive right? We sure are an uplift bunch...) so I don't feel safe at all here anymore and if I am not banned and do post here it will after this post never be about this issue or in one of these threads again. Not only do I have to worry about all the enemy eyes on this site and if they were to ever decide to focus on me, but to worry about that on a board that has shown time and time again that except for a few (and there are posters, and even with this a couple mods and staff-not a monolith-that I truly believe have our back) most at best tolerate us/are "allies" as long as it doesn't require any actual backbone all the way to people (not going to mention names but if I did their are receipts, a certain "physician" handled poster comes to mind) who straight up come into trans threads to concern troll and spread TERF talking points without moderation, if I have to read one more time the "but what about actual born real woman's concerns, their opinion should matter most" in a trans athlete thread my fist would go through a monitor. But hey not going to participate in any of that anymore if I am here, back in the closet here too seems the safest bet ( I also quite remember before before settling on this avatar, which I picked as closest to my physicality/looks if I were to transition, and the fact my chosen name is jessi, I had a Walton Goggins avatar from VP and in a trans thread someone (not trans) attacked me and said I was either faking or just looking to be offended because no way I could be trans or care about the issue because I had that avatar and I should hate Walton for his role in SOA or something, and of course that was okay for that poster to do, no side eye from anyone but me) and yes I am over sharing but to begin it's the last time I share at all, second I want to get across why safety matters to me and how and why I feel the equivalent of being backstabbed and losing the only friend I had for the one issue in my life that matters most.
But some people can now feel safe sharing their mundane life details and totally not anything offensive in the private discord for a board that was supposedly founded on the notion of transparency and not repeating the mistakes of NeoGaf.
I am glad someone feels safe cause I don't, but I guess that makes it all gravy, the people that matter feel safe while we all feel we have to leave or muzzle ourselves or possibly as in my case right now get banned.
I guess it all evens out😞
What a god damned Trumpian response. "The real issue is the leaks."
I have never been more disappointed in this site.
I have never been more disappointed in this site.
I am, and have been, fucking torn on what to do
There isn't going to be any major accountability for this (it certainly ain't gonna be Quick even on the minute chance there was), and I know and have spent months now consoling fellow members of the community who have similarly felt, and continue to feel, silenced and not seen or cared about here. None of this was a big surprise to any of us
The thing is: not all of them have a backup plan. This place was supposed to be the backup plan
If you don't frequent one of the community threads to piggyback off the Discords they have, you basically have nothing left now. I don't know that there Is a next step now, let alone What it looks like, for some of those who just now feel completely abandoned. And I don't want to leave friends* behind without a parachute or extra place to crash, and to feel loved. Because we are loved, and we fucking deserve to feel like we are loved
*and if this incident proves nothing else, it proves that's what the fuck we are, by the way. If you aren't straight, if you are in this LGBTQ+ community, you are a friend. You have to be. Because we are all we got. We always have been, and always will be, the only ones we can trust, because we sure haven't been given reason to trust anyone else
I am so, so sorry this happened to you. I can't do much, but I'm sending you all the digital hugs.
Hi everyone I just started HRT today, what's going on in this thre-
Oh.
Guess next week will be infrastructure awareness week once this thread is locked then eh?
Oh.
Guess next week will be infrastructure awareness week once this thread is locked then eh?
It took a lot to post this. Thank you for sharing this, Jessi.
I used to mod a forum once. I learned the hardest possible way that people build serious relationships in these communities, that people value these communities, and that for the marginalized and vulnerable these communities can be a lifeline. I want to let you know that even if you can't be safe here, there's plenty of communities on Discord of people from ERA, and we've got your back. You're a good person and you deserve to be happy and safe and have a place where you feel happy and safe.
Thank you for taking the time to post this. It's tough out there, but we care, and you're an amazing person.
Thank you for sharing your story. I principally listen in these and similar threads, but I felt compelled to comment on how brave it was for you to recount your history and share it publicly. You're courageous. I wish you nothing but the best.
Yeah fuck this. It's pretty clear that the people who run this site don't give a shit about Trans people.oh man my bad. I thought this guy was on staff here
Free KetKat, this is beyond disgusting. Hopefully won't catch a ban for this post but who knows now I guess.
Shame on the decision, and this isn't the transparency that I expected after the bullshit of the old site and working for over 24 hours during the transition here to get out as many general migrations server invites as possible whilst disseminating corrupt ban information and assisting with the transfer of multiple communities via created discords.
Yeah no shit. Should've left in your original post for transparency too but I guess we're regressing back to a lack of that. If you weren't a mod you'd be getting more of an earful from me, be sure of that.
Thanks for sharing, truly. You're an incredibly strong individual and I absolutely wish you all the best.
Cheers Nicole, you've always done good by me and others so I trust you.
Shame on the decision, and this isn't the transparency that I expected after the bullshit of the old site and working for over 24 hours during the transition here to get out as many general migrations server invites as possible whilst disseminating corrupt ban information and assisting with the transfer of multiple communities via created discords.
Yeah no shit. Should've left in your original post for transparency too but I guess we're regressing back to a lack of that. If you weren't a mod you'd be getting more of an earful from me, be sure of that.
Thanks for sharing, truly. You're an incredibly strong individual and I absolutely wish you all the best.
Cheers Nicole, you've always done good by me and others so I trust you.
So the one piece of vaguely positive news is that dissatisfaction with the Era community and leadership has been brewing across multiple minority communities.
The frustrations that the Trans communities express about the blatant bigotry and the mod team's happiness to look the other way are frustrations shared by others too.
I don't think there's enough of us yet for things to reach a boiling point, but if leadership continues to act the way they do, one day we might reach that critical mass
Thank you for sharing, I may just be a cis Gay man and thus will never be able to fully understand what you have gone through but please don't let all this mess color your POV on the people here. If you ever need to vent or anything, anything please DM me.
It is stories like yours that have made the apathy towards transphobia around here (before the TOS was updated) even more upsetting. Trans folk are make up one of the most marginalized and discriminated demographics on the planet. Every effort should be made to make them always feel welcome and love. All they seek is to live in happiness and acceptance.
Off topic but my goodness I cannot even begin to describe my ire at my fellow LGBT+ who want to play at excluding others who are also seeking acceptance. That is not it fam, never has been, never will be. I hope the mod team really has a big look at themselves over all this.
I'm really sorry this happened to you Jessi and I feel for you. I don't really feel safe here either after all this. I hope you do continue posting on era but I don't even think I will be posting as much either after watching all these trans threads go up in flames due to poor moderation or just really awful people. I don't feel safe anymore as much as I want to feel safe. I don't even know what to do anymore and I've been processing this thread the entire time and the recent staff response and I just don't feel mentally sound anymore I can't even handle the issues going on in my community right now after some serious allegations took place. I feel fucking lost and depressed more so than ever. My boyfriends telling me to stop reading the thread and to just take a step back. I think he's right but like, after all, that's happened I just can't think clearly anymore. I probably should go to bed and get some rest.
I'm gonna be real, I'm hitting up the hangout thread where there's people that I know and trust who won't report me and asking them for backup. I'd recommend you do the same.
Funny I was going to make this comparison earlier.Mods are cops. Cops protect their own.
Hey staff, why did you lock this thread just now?
Thanks for the heads up.
To be honest, I'm just largely here out of inertia these days. I don't play games all that much anymore and OT just frustrates me most of the time. If I get banned for something as innocuous as 'people are frustrated by leadership,' so be it
Thanks everybody I appreciate it, going to take a break from the internet now, it's late and I am in tears and I am not one for crying much.
But thanks and it really does matter to me, everything else might stink but the community itself is awesome and helps me keep my head up.
Thanks again and much love.
But thanks and it really does matter to me, everything else might stink but the community itself is awesome and helps me keep my head up.
Thanks again and much love.
This thread has been locked for at least 6 minutes without a staff post indicating why
Surely you can see why that's incredibly hard to believe
